What's At Your Center?

I haven't been feeling like myself for the past few months and by a "few" months I mean a little over a year and a half. It took some heartfelt prayer and "soul searching" in order to find out why I have been feeling this way lately. I had to make time to pray, seek the Lord's face, and write down everything that came to my mind afterwards to figure out what exactly happened.

I went through a season that I would refer to as my "awkward phase" where I felt as if I was "just passing by" or better yet a stranger in someone else's body. Thank God that seasons change and do not always last very long! For me, it began with putting one thing before my quiet time with God - work. A little over a year ago, I was working 10 hour shifts at another job which was physically demanding and by the time I came home from work- I was ready to crash and burn.

It was a domino effect.

Shortly after getting into the routine of working all the time, it became easier to spend the majority of my free time relaxing "just to escape" through the media before repeating the same thing the following day.

Garbage In = Garbage Out

Whatever you mediate on will become magnified!

For example, if you spend your time watching scary movies "just for fun"...don't be surprised if you find yourself wrestling with the spirit of fear.

Do not compromise your convictions for carnality.

I can only pour out as much into others that is being poured into my spirit. That is why it is important to be renewed daily through spirit-led prayer and meditating upon the Word of God! 

"Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." [Psalm 119:11]

I want God to take back full control over my life which includes my heart, calling, relationships, devotion, prayer life, and most importantly how I spend my TIME. It's so easy to get "caught up" with life- that is why it is important to set your priorities.

I realize now that:

I need to walk in forgiveness daily...

I need to show mercy to others...

I need to be moved with compassion toward others...

I need to walk in love...

• "If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same...36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful." [Luke 6:32-33;36]

• "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses." [Proverbs 10:12]

When I decided not to practice this for season, I learned the hard way that I can't swim upstream or against the tide and win...eventually the wave will come crashing down! In other words, I can't go against how God created me to be and still stand strong. It is like expecting a fish to survive on dry land.

I have to make time for all of my relationships- it doesn't just "happen" by itself.

This past Wednesday in class, I was reminded me of the verse [Matthew 6:21]: "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." and these three things came to mind:


1) Where was your time invested? Did you spend more time investing in the kingdom of God and wherever He has placed you...storing your treasures up in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroys...

• I'm reminded of the story of Martha and Mary. While Martha was distracted with much serving...her sister Mary chose to sit at the Lord's feet and He replied to Martha by telling her that Mary chose the "better portion"...to sit at Jesus' feet and listen to His teaching. [Luke 10:38-42]

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." [Psalm 90:12]

2) What did you do with the resources I gave you?

• When you are faithful in the little things such as your obedience in tithing, prayer, and devotion...God will entrust you with more. "Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy Lord."  [Matthew 25:23] 

3) How did you use the talents you were given?

• I'm reminded of the parable of the talents. [Matthew 25:14-30] A talent is a natural God given gift or ability. In this scenario, it is used as an illustration of a monetary reward...however, we still need to use the talents and gifts that God has given us ultimately for His glory. Unlike the slothful servant, we must multiply what resources He has given us and not simply bury our gifts and talents. What He has entrusted us with is given for the edification of the saints. We will all reap what we sow!

In conclusion, I have learned where you spend the majority of your time is what matters most to you! Strategize to prioritize! 

I thank the Lord for His goodness, faithfulness, patience, kindness, forgiveness, compassion and steadfast love toward me. He never ceases to amaze me! I am still a mess in the making to reflect His image and become more like Him. I do not want to be the person whom others want me to be, but the person God designed me to be! 

In the end, I have learned not to be a people pleaser, but a God pleaser. :)

P4CM | Passion 4 Christ Movement (Spoken Word)

I was recently watching spoken word artists on YouTube and these are a few of my favorites thus far by Janette McGhee also known as MissTerious Janette...ikz (pronounced mysterious genetics.) Despite overcoming adversity growing up, she has been a performing artist in the areas of poetry, dance, and music for over 18 years! I hope the videos below are an encouragement to all who stumble across it. Enjoy! :)

For more information about the Passion 4 Christ Movement, visit P4CM.com

Disclaimer: The original recording can be found at the following links:  [ Ready or Not by RHETORIC Poets Ezekiel & Janette ]  [ I Will Wait For You ] and [ 31 Status ]

A Heart For The Nations

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek." Romans 1:16

The other day I went to visit the other daughter works of North Cities UPC after service ended.    I was amazed at the atmosphere of worship created during service even though there were not many of us. It reminded me of a Full Gospel Church I had the pleasure of visiting once while touring the motherland. There were people literally on their knees crying out to God and praying in the spirit over there which moved my heart. I feel that God is developing a heart in me for the nations which is something I never thought would happen. I have felt a burden for a while to support missionaries although it is hard to imagine myself doing the exact work of a "missionary." Now I understand why I grew up with so much diversity around me at the schools I attended and through my friendships. I have always loved learning about other cultures and languages growing up! Now the Lord is slowly opening doors of opportunities in front of me and making the right connections. I can't wait until I begin visiting other nations all over the world one day. Nothing beats two hours of unstructured praise and worship outdoors! Right now, I know God is training and preparing me where He has currently placed me. I now feel comfortable sharing the gospel and love of God with random strangers. 

I know I'll feel right at home being in their midst one day!

Update: My Progress

Earlier this week I couldn't sleep, so I began to type. As I laid in bed, I began to reflect on major changes that I have noticed in my life recently- whether some may perceive it as a good thing or bad. I feel like an update is looong overdue! I realize that I have been slacking BIG time on writing, but who reads blogs anyways. ;)

1) I have officially become somewhat of an introvert

Ha. I guess this is not really news... :)

2) I've matured in the way I handle and approach situations

As an old friend of mine would say, we thank God!

3) I've grown a little more in patience

Every growth in patience is an achievement for me because I can see the progress and growth I'm making in God with His guidance. I noticed that I have become more tolerant of people. For the most part, I've always had a calm demeanor...but lately I have been feeling a deep calm-stillness in my spirit. I don't know what to call it, but hey- I like it!

4) My love for God has grown as well as my attitude of gratitude

I guess this is pretty much self-explanatory...

5) I've grown in a deeper love for people...even strangers

I guess I should attribute my love for others growing as I'm learning to fall in love with Jesus all over again. It seems like I'm meeting new people every week or so and I LOVE it! The only down side to my growing heart of compassion is that I often feel more vulnerable to get hurt easily.

6) I prefer listening as opposed to speaking

It's funny when I think about this because I remember back in High School how several of my friends and siblings would say: "Priscilla, you talk too much!" Lol Now- I do not concur! Oh, how things have changed! Today I was reminded of the scripture in James 1:19 "...let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak..." I believe God has been teaching me this. If I seem suspiciously quiet now-a-days, it is not because I have a lot on my mind or that I have nothing to say. I would just rather listen.

7) I've become more lady-like...no more tom-boyish ways

I grew up in a household with brothers. This resulted in me sharing a lot of the same activities with them from video games to sports as well as friends. In fact, majority of my close friends growing up were guys. I guess I felt that I could relate and be more transparent around them. Something has changed in my spirit this past year that even if I tried willingly to resort to my old ways, I can't. I believe women can still be fun and maintain their femininity. I'm not going to lie. There are occasions that I miss interacting with the opposite sex, but then I realize the importance of setting and maintaining boundaries. I can't believe the day has come where my female friends outnumber my guy friends! Through it all, one thing still remains the same. I can still count the number of my genuine friends with the fingers on my left hand.

Change is not something that happens all of a sudden overnight. It took years for some habits to form, and it may even take some years to break. By the Grace of God I am not the same person I was about 5 years ago when God began to do a work in me and thank the Lord He's not finished yet! 

Disclaimer: Playing video games, sports, or preferring male companionship does not necessarily make one tom-boyish.

When I Say, 'I Am a Christian'...

I Am a Christian

When I say... "I am a Christian"

I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'." 
I'm whispering "I was lost, 
Now I'm found and forgiven." 

When I say... "I am a Christian" 

I don't speak of this with pride. 
I'm confessing that I stumble 
and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian" 
I'm not trying to be strong. 
I'm professing that I'm weak 
and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian" 
I'm not bragging of success. 
I'm admitting I have failed 
and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian" 
I'm not claiming to be perfect, 
My flaws are far too visible 
but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian" 
I still feel the sting of pain. 
I have my share of heartaches 
so I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian" 
I'm not holier than thou, 
I'm just a simple sinner 
who received God's good grace, somehow.” 

                                                                  ― Maya Angelou

I Choose Life.

To watch the Official October Baby Trailer: Click here 

October Baby is inspired by one of few abortion survivors who make it alive outside of abortion clinics---Gianna Jessen. I've been avoiding watching this movie for a while because I don't like talking about controversial subject matters unless it comes to what God says. In the movie, actress Shari Rigby plays the role of the birth mother who had an abortion in the film. Little did the directors know at the time that she had a past abortion before choosing her for this role. After watching October Baby, I watched 22 weeks---another movie based on a true story.

During my Junior year of High School when a new candidate was running for President, I was presented with the terms Pro-Life and Pro-Choice without truly understanding what either one meant. I thank God for my having a Child Development teacher who took a stand and taught us that Life begins at Conception. We also know this to be true because the Psalmist David wrote: Behold I was brought forth in iniquity and in sin did my mother conceive me. If we truly can grasp all the things our body goes through just for conception to happen and all the things that can go wrong, it truly a miracle any of us makes it outside the womb alive!

I cannot understand how anyone can say I am For God and not be For Life. Speaking for myself, I cannot truly say I am a Christ-follower and make another individual whether they be in Christ or not feel condemnation or judgmental towards them whether a child was conceived in actual sin, or life beyond their control--- it's not my place.

I have a lot more respect now for women who carry their babies to full term even if they decide to give him or her up for adoption. I do not condone pre-marital sex, however; it is not ones place to look down on an individual if they are not married to the father of their child when he or she is conceived. If the person truly repents, God is just to forgive.

Most women who were asked why they went through with the abortion procedure ironically respond by saying they felt they had no other choice. Four weeks after conception takes place, the baby now has a heartbeat with blood pumping through its system. If you know anything about blood, THERE IS LIFE IN THE BLOOD. It is not anyone's place to play God whom is the only one who can kill the body and soul. In other words, He is the only one who gives life and takes it away [Job 1:21].We can see in scripture women who were barren because God is the one who can shut and open their womb.

If the word of God says having anger in my heart towards an individual is as committing murder, then what about intentionally putting an end to an unborn life? Every good and perfect gift comes from above. I came to the conclusion for myself,  birth control is one of the most selfish choices I can make when I have kids one day because I know that children are an inheritance from the Lord, blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. [Psalm 123:3-5]

In 2002, the Born-Alive Infants Protection Act was passed unanimously in the U.S Senate House of Representatives and signed by President George W. Bush Jr. Regardless, Silent genocide still occurs everyday. Approximately 3,500 babies are aborted daily (1.3 million yearly). Out of those aborted daily, approximately 1,270 babies are born alive in the U.S. and are still killed despite the BAIPA passed in 2002. There are everyday instances of which abortion still occurs such as in the movie 22 weeks. Due to negligence in a Florida Abortion Clinic the baby died 10 minutes after delivery despite the mother wanting the baby to live.

"Born Alive" is defined as the complete expulsion of an infant at any stage of development that has a heartbeat, pulsation of the umbilical cord, breath, or voluntary muscle movement, no matter if the umbilical cord has been cut or if the expulsion of the infant was natural, induced labor, cesarean section, or induced abortion."

The thief which is the devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Christ came so that we may have life and have it more abundantly. [John 10:10] Our God is the author of life and you can see His hand in all of creation. In Psalm 139, David states that he was woven and knit together in his mothers womb. I know God does not make mistakes, otherwise He would not be the One true God. People can give into temptation or even have situations beyond their control in life and find themselves with child. I believe a major reason of an individuals choice to have an abortion is selfishness.

The enemy will twist the Word of God to ones demise or destruction. In this case, it may come in the thought:

• Fear or shame
• No one will ever find out
• A child will only make things complicated
• I'm not ready to be a mother
• I don't want children
• It will only put strain on my body to carry to full term
• I don't have a support system
• My career has just begun
• I don't have any other choice

And the list goes on...

The reason I am writing this is not to give some convincing argument on my view on abortions, but due to God growing a greater heart in me for the least of these: orphans, brokenhearted, homeless people- the poor and needy. Watching this movie broke my heart because I know God died on the cross and rose from the grave in 3 days so that the enemy no longer has the sting over death. I cannot truly say I love God and not choose LIFE.

I remember an another amazing teacher I had my Senior year of High School and her story about her brother. I'll refer to him as Jimmy. When Jimmy was asked by his family if given the option of resuscitation or do not resuscitate if a medical emergency were to occur, he would choose resuscitation even if he were given 1% chance of living because he knows God will take care of the rest. I have been dwelling on that thought for the past week. If I were placed in a similar position where I had to make the call, I would not be able to. Give me 1% chance of living and I know my God is more than able to add 99% to that!

In High School, I always wanted to participate in a Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure event, but due to the legal requirements, I never had a chance to. This Pro-Life Day of Solidarity is something even closer to my heart and I hope I can participate in one day. I thank God He has given me a heart for the least of these from a young age. When I say I am pro-life, I'm taking a stand to choose LIFE and life more abundantly. I choose life, not death.