The Wait: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

This is our testimony of the struggles we went through while waiting on God for that special someone. It wasn't an easy journey, but by the grace of God we made it through. By waiting, I don't mean only in the race to remain pure throughout our abstinence, but also in purity in our mind, body and spirit. There were temptations lurking about every corner, but God pulled us through. This is simply a short snippet of what we went through before and after God brought us together. I pray our testimony blesses you in every single way.



Forgiveness
Patience
Understanding
Temptations
Transparency
Open Communication

On our uphill climb, there were temptations that we both encountered during the "waiting period."

One major point of contention was our communication skills. One minute things would be smooth sailing, then the next -provoking factors that put a dent in our relationship.

Q & A : Let the People Speak; you asked the questions and we answered!

True Love Waits...

I can't believe the day has finally arrived! I'm ENGAGED!!! Words can't begin to express how I feel inside. I am going to marry the man of my dreams (literally) in a couple of months! God knew exactly every detail of what I needed in a man to compliment me in my walk and our future ministry together. He is my best friend, my other half, everything that I asked the Lord for, and SO much more! I just want to be open to let someone out there reading this one day know that True Love Waits.

As strange as it sounds, I felt a burden at a young age to start praying and interceding for my future spouse in the 5th grade, particularly regarding his character and for us to go through our "for worse" moments before God brought us together. It was around the same time I began praying for him the Lord revealed to me his calling for the first time. That was over 13 years ago. I have a lot of love and respect for this man because I waited 15 years to meet him. Even though I had several opportunities to date, I choose not to knowing that God ultimately has the right man for me in mind one day!

Growing up, I used to feel embarrassed that I was not like other girls. I had no desire to go the places that they went or partake in some of the things they did because God set me apart...to be different. When we strive to live a life set apart for God there will be several obstacles that get in the way. Some people probably won't believe me when I tell them that I waited 31 years before I "officially" began dating. During my season of waiting upon the Lord, I learned to put Him first above all things. I felt that if I had begun dating at a younger age, it would have been a distraction for me. Just like any human being, I've had moments where I was tempted to compromise my desires, convictions, and settle- but I knew I served a big God who is always on time!

God has answered my prayers from the smallest details I desired such as his smile to greater matters such as his heart for God. I waited 24 years for God to heal my heart from a lot of things and restore my confidence in Him. I'm so glad He kept me through it all! There were always guys in my life and the opportunity was always there, but I am glad that I waited and did not compromise.

I am now marrying a guy who I can say is truly a man after God's own heart. A guy who respects me, honors me, challenges me, and makes me feel like I'm the ONLY girl in the world for him! Sometimes I think to myself- "what did I ever do to deserve an amazing man like this?" It's funny to say I am one of those girls who knew certain attributes about the man I would marry one day before I ever met him.

I'm here to encourage young girls to wait on the Lord, not to compromise their convictions for carnality or shortcut yourselves because God has the right man in mind for you if you wait for His timing!

Our Testimony: How God Brought Us Together

On our one year anniversary, I decided to do something a little different. I wanted to tell our testimony of what we BOTH went through before God eventually brought us together! In this brief narrative, you will get to hear from both sides of our story. For convenience, I have made our story available in text and soon video format. I hope you enjoy! :) -Priscilla

Priscilla: I remember the first time I laid eyes on him...it was at a Generation X Concert on August 22, 2009 which was hosted by a mutual friends church at the time...Bread Of Life. I just remember thinking, man that guy can really sing! I honestly do not think he even noticed me that night. However, after a few Reflect services a year later at Image Student Ministries (ISM), I began to fall in love with his voice.

Marcus:

Priscilla: I started attending Sunday night services and ISM's Mid-week service off and on throughout the year after I was re-baptized on May 2, 2010. There was a constant tug in my spirit to go back to North Cities even though I was a member at another church...

Fast forward to 2011- I officially joined my current church at the end of January and was learning to hear the voice of God clearly as He started using me to pray for others in the altar. It wasn't until Spring that I really began to pay more attention to him and even told our mutual friend that I liked him......that was until I found out his age. At this point, I was interested in becoming friends and getting to know him better because he seemed like a cool person, but I felt like he may have misinterpreted my friendliness and sorta pushed me away...

Marcus:

Priscilla: As time went on, I began to pursue God and started to have a few visions and dreams of which a few have come to pass. I was eager to receive confirmation from the Lord about my calling along with some other things I had been praying about, so I asked Him to show me on a specific date He brought to my mind. In the past, the Lord would bring specific dates to my mind when I would seek him in prayer about certain things...other times I would speak it out in faith and He always came through! God answered that prayer On March 23, 2011 as Bro Joe Ellis confirmed in the Holy Ghost what I sought the Lord on.

I remember being completely broken that day bawling before the preaching even began because God was ministering to my spirit throughout the day. I continued to work the altar as usual that night and at one point I saw B across the room on his knees praying before the Lord in his red shirt and blue jeans. :) I inquired of the Lord in my spirit these exact words "Aww, what's B still doing in the altar? I already prayed for him." I then felt an impression in my heart/spirit "that's my husband." I thought I either heard wrong or was loosing my mind and I dismissed any idea of being with him until I had another vision Mid-April where the Lord showed me something specific he has in store for the both of us.

Marcus:

Priscilla: Even though I had a few more visions and dreams, words of "confirmation" from others who do not know either one of us, and God using people around me to confirm some things I have seen in those visions and dreams...I had a few Gideon moments where I wanted to test the Lord through a series of "If this is your will, then let this happen..." and so on.

Marcus:

Priscilla: For a while, I wished that God would have just told me a simple "no" as He had done in the past with other guys and I remember asking Him, "why, why God did you show me this?" Life was sooo much simpler not knowing some things. Looking back now, I realize the Lord showed me some visions or dreams in advance (not only to teach me to have faith when He brings them to pass) so that I could intercede for His will to be done, have encouragement in the Lord, and....

Marcus:

Priscilla: I reached a point in my walk where enough was enough and I begged God to take away every feeling I ever had for this man from my heart completely. I could not stand having feelings for him while he was with someone else whom he considered "walking down the aisle with" and his family already adored her. I found a sister in Christ to stand in agreement with me, and shortly after praying...I saw him the following Sunday. I no longer felt any attachment or strong feelings for this man even though I still cared about him reaching his full potential and calling in Christ. In my attempt to try and move on, I started dating another guy whom I grew fond of overtime.

Marcus:

Priscilla: Even though I had let go of him and left him to God, I still thought about him occasionally and would keep him in my prayers as he came to mind. Even in my letting go, something about him still drew me to him...


Marcus:

Priscilla: I reached a certain point where I became discouraged "waiting" on God's promises to manifest that I sort of threw in the towel and gave up praying for "him." It was almost like telling God, "I'm tired, I give up! Three years is wayyy too long to wait in my book." Despite the children and calling He showed me, I grew weary holding onto His promises overtime. I basically developed the "Que sera sera" (whatever will be, will be) attitude. Three years went by and I decided to move onto another relationship.

Marcus:

Priscilla: I reached a place where I knew I had to surrender all by "letting go and letting God," so I laid him on the altar one last time. Despite all the visions, dreams, and prophetic confirmation...I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. It was a scary place to be in because I often wondered if His will had changed overtime, but it allowed me to put my total trust in God.

Marcus:

Priscilla: I believe God ultimately used the situation we were both placed in to grow the necessary patience I needed in order to be a mother and wife in my life.

Even though we know that for those who love God, all things work together for the good for those who are called according to His purpose... DO NOT give up on the promises of God for your life!!! If He has showed you something, stand firm on the Word of God and even put Him in remembrance of His Word. There is power in the tongue and when you speak things forth, you release things into the spirit realm. That is why we ought to bless and not curse one another.

EXAMPLE BELOW:

Anthony: It was a hot Sabbath day after church and my friend, Kenya, said she would take me over to meet Maeling if I’d stop harassing her about it. So over we went…

Maeling: I was chatting with a few of my girlfriends after church, when Kenya walked over and introduced us to one of her friends, Anthony. It was funny because my friends and I were just joking about how there weren’t any guys our age at this particular church. Anthony seemed very polite and we shook hands …

A: I walked over cool, calm and collected. I said hi and shook her hand and promptly looked away. I was nervous after that.

M: Well after being introduced, the group of us started talking about dinner plans and decided to get together for dinner. We invited Anthony to come along with us, but he said he already had plans but said he would try and stop by later.

A: So after I said I would catch up with them later, I tried not to run back to my car because I was so excited, and I had to make it back to see Maeling. So I got in “Bertha” and  was driving like a mad man all the way to the Southside while they were over in Midtown. I got to my aunt’s house, said my hello’s, ate some food and promptly drove back to Midtown. By the way, the food was good ( Just in case you’re reading this auntie).  I finally made it to this Indian cuisine place, where I knew I wasn’t going to like it all…but Maeling was there. It was hot, I was nervous, hands were sweating, face was greasy but I was going in.  Because it’s rare you find somebody so beautiful.

M: So we ended up at this Indian place for dinner, which I absolutely loved! We were all having a great time chatting, when Anthony showed up and ended up sitting across from me at the table. He didn’t come across very talkative, but that changed when I mentioned that I had been living in Atlanta for several years but hadn’t really explored the city.

A: There were a couple seats open. One at the end of the table, and one directly across from her, so obviously I chose the one directly across from her. I didn’t want her to forget my face. I wanted to talk to her, but I didn’t want it to seem like that was the only reason I came to the dinner (you know I gotta play it cool).  So I just chimed in here and there, whenever there was something I could relate to. I was surrounded by a whole bunch of females, which isn’t a bad thing…but I was only focused on one that day.  I asked Maeling how long she had been living in Atlanta, and she said she had been living here for years. Then I thought to myself, geez Louise this girl has been here that long and this is the first time I’ve seen her? Crazy man, crazy. Smh (inside my head though…Gotta keep it cool. You know what I’m saying.) So she started asking me how long I had been living in Atlanta and where were some cool places to hang. I think she was just being nice for conversation. And then she joked about me being her tour guide of Atlanta but I was dead serious when I heard her say that.  I was definitely going to take her up on that offer.

M: During our conversation at the table, I discovered that Anthony was born and raised in Atlanta. I then started to joke with him that he should be my tour guide of the city since I had been living in Atlanta for a while, but hadn’t really explored the surrounding areas. Well, after that, there wasn’t much more talking between me and Anthony at the table. After dinner though, we were all outside discussing our plans for the rest of the evening. I love to salsa dance and suggested that idea to the group. Everyone was up for it and Anthony even said he would try and join us later.

A: Yea…I had never danced before in my life. I wasn’t sure if  I was going to make it or not. But I had to make sure that when she closed her eyes that night, she saw me. So a brother was going to get out there and try. So I went home and googled salsa dancing clothes. After I got some images, I looked in my closet and not one thing in my closet looked like what I saw. So I just put on a shirt with some shoes and said I hope she doesn’t think I look like a bum. I wanted to look good because I knew I wasn’t going to dance well. Kenya was texting me and was telling me to hurry up, so I hopped in “Bertha” and hightailed it to Kenya’s so we could meet up with Mae.

M:  I arrived at the salsa spot with my friend Candyce and was super excited about actually using the new latin ballroom dancing shoes I had just purchased! We decided to wait around for the others before we started dancing though. Some of my other friends joined us and we were ready to roll when we realized that Kenya hadn’t arrived yet. We knew she didn’t live that far away so we were confused as to what the hold up was. That is when we were informed that she was waiting for Anthony to get to her place so they could ride over together. So yea…it was all Anthony’s fault.

A: When I walked in the door, the music was blaring and there she was, spinning in circles with her little fro. I didn’t know she was “Natural Chica” at that point. I went over scared out of my mind, because I was looking at these guys’ feet moving and I knew my feet weren’t going to move like that. Candyce and Kenya were helping me get my bearings out there, because I was definitely tripping over my feet. Candyce was counting out loud and telling me not to look at my feet. Then finally Mae decided to come over after she was done spinning around, to help this struggling brother. Finally I started catching on, and she said, let’s go to the main floor. And we started dancing.. So I was excited. I didn’t want to step on her feet. I was nervous about that part, so I was looking down. And then she started talking to me but I couldn’t hear what she was saying. I was hoping it wasn’t anything important and I didn’t want to lean in because she might have thought I was trying to kiss her or something, so I just said “uh huh”. To this day, I didn’t know what she was saying, because she talks so quietly. It was beautiful. Her hands in mine, moving to the rhythm of the salsa beat.

M: I was honestly surprised that Anthony even showed up. After all it was just him and a bunch of us women. (Wait…I guess that could make some sense). In any case, we were all having a great time, but I did notice that Anthony had never gone salsa dancing before so I decided to help him learn the basic salsa steps. He actually caught on pretty quickly, although it was hard to keep him from looking down. We did get to dance together for a bit that evening. Overall, it was an exciting night just getting to hang with my buddies and making a new friend.

A:  The funny thing about this night was that I was ripping and running all over the place just trying to be in this girl’s face and she had no idea. I left that night without her phone number or email because it was the first day that I had met her and I didn’t want to be pushy. I figured we’d cross paths again (Gotta play it cool) I left that night so pumped because I knew that if things went right, she could be the one.

From that very first encounter, we planted a seed of friendship that has bloomed into an amazing love. We are so happy to be at this point in our lives and grateful to God for blessing us with each other. We look to Him as we begin this union and at the same time, we feel extremely blessed to have the love and support of our family and friends. 

Almost 5 years ago, Broc caught my eye. He was handsome and charming...and I...well, I was a Facebook stalker.

Yes. It all started on Facebook....but like so oh-so-many short-lived Facebook crushes before us, we quickly lost touch and went about our lives. Honestly, this was probably the best thing that could have happened...because we both had a lot of maturing to do.

Life happened and we soon found ourselves setting out on our own separate directions. In fact, not only did life take us in different directions.....but it took us to opposite ends of the country. I began college at Howard Payne University in Brownwood, Texas, and Broc moved back up north to attend Indiana Bible College in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Ironically enough, we somehow managed to "miss one another" time and time again at various conferences, events, and hang-outs. I distinctly remember attending a conference in Lufkin, Texas when Broc was home on break from college. I spotted him across the tabernacle and pointed him out to a friend of mine, knowing that he looked SO familiar to me. When I asked who he was, she replied that he was from out-of-state but she thought he was married. It wasn't until years later that I found out that he had been there at the conference and made the connection.

Broc was always "THAT GUY" for me.....the one that I checked up on from time to time to see what was happening in his life. He was the one guy that I always thought about....even though we never had anything even close to a relationship before. I didn't quite understand what it was....but I knew that he was a catch and that who ever was with him was definitely a lucky lady!

In April 2012, Broc and I reconnected randomly through Facebook again (thanks to an adorable picture of him in coveralls..hehe) and we began to text. I would like to tell you that it was a fairytale beginning....but I was finishing my last month of my  business degree and wasn't really sure that I was ready to commit to anything but my own dreams to move to Austin after college....so I gave him the run-around for several weeks. He was definitely patient with me.

I wasn't looking for anything......and so it caught me off guard when I began to have feelings for him. I had been so dead-set on "not belonging to anyone but me"....but I soon realized that I wanted to be something to him. Something important. I fell in love with him before our first date....and on the way home, I called my mother in tears because I knew I had found the man I was going to marry.

Long-distance relationships are tough, but thanks to Facetime and unlimited text messages we made it through the longest summer of my life as Broc interned as a youth pastor in Detroit the summer of 2012. He moved back to Dallas at the end of the summer...and the rest is history.

Broc has been my rock...my best friend...my partner-in-crime...my love. I am so excited to be his wife soon...mother of his future little Broc-lettes...and partner in ministry. I am marrying my best friend...and there is nothing sweeter. I never imagined that I'd find someone so wonderful....he's a God-thing in my life. I'm so excited for this milestone in our story together and the many happy years ahead as husband and wife.

Update: 2016

Lately I feel as if my life has been off track. I have faced calamities back to back that it is almost hard to explain. Due to this, God has been stirring something in my heart to return back to the heart of worship. Today I felt the tug on my heart to return to the way things used to be when I was set on fire for Him. It’s not an easy task. It takes time and effort. When I take an imaginary glimpse into my future, I see myself in my 30’s with children and so in love with Him. I see myself raising my babies up in the Lord to be more like Him. My sons to be mighty men of valor and my daughters’ proverbs 31 women. Being a mother is not an easy task and I’ve learned that simply by watching others around me. I want to be the best mom I can be for my children and to do better than my parents in every way imaginable. My heart aches as I long for more. I feel God drawing me back to Him again and re-establishing me in my gifts and talents. I had to take a brief break from a lot of things for almost a year and a half which set me back again because I thought I knew what was most important to me at the time. Little did I realize that God ultimately knew what I was going through and the fire that I needed to go through for all things to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. What one may view as one of the worst calamities I have gone through thus far was really a set up for greater things to come. My heart lately has been doing backflips inside my chest. I have been longing for and reminiscing on different things such as marriage, memories, and high school friends. Sometimes I wonder how different life and things would have been if ended staying in my old neighborhood in Dallas. One little change and move in faith shifted my life for the better in the right direction. I have great memories simply by going to a different High School. My heart misses student council meetings, homecoming, the few minutes to catch up in-between classes which sometimes resulted in a tardy and last but certainly not least fond memories hanging out with friends. I miss my girls. I can’t say I had any real friends when I used to live in Dallas of which I’m grateful for the abrupt move as I look back because I changed for the better. I made even more real amigos para siempre when I got in the church that my heart has been missing lately. Lastly, tonight I felt something happen in my heart which struck a nerve and made me realize that I am ready for marriage. Due to my own set of personal experiences and upbringing, I have never been in a real relationship. It has kept me, but I saw myself breaking down and crying out to God tonight because I’m ready for the next step in my life. I used to see myself as an individual that plans in advance for everything as it comes to my mind (my purse is an example of that too), but what I could not plan on is being 25 and still single wanting to mingle. It never bothered me that I did not care to be in a relationship for the past 3 years because I was pre-occupied with school, but now I realize that I cannot put things in a chronological order such as 1. Graduate college 2. Get married and 3. Have children. My dream orders of operations may shift because I have been in college for 8 years and counting. I may end up 1. Getting married, 2. Having children, and then 3. Graduating college at this point. Life does not always work out as we plan it. The Lord’s ways are above our ways and His thoughts above our thoughts. His word says: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” We can always pray toward dreams, goals, and desires…but ultimately we need to put our trust in Him and know that our Heavenly Father always knows what is best.

He makes ALL things NEW :)

A short synopsis of this year...

1) New Year

I'm looking forward to going into this New Year with a bang! At this point in my life, I would have envisioned wrapping up my last semester of graduate school with my MBA, but life does not always work out as we may plan. Does it? ;-) Either way, I'm anticipating God for bigger and better things this upcoming New Year! I have learned to set realistic, personal, yet obtainable goals of which through the Lord's help I can achieve.

2) New School

After many long nights of NOT pulling all-nighters, I have just completed my first *official* semester of school. I was a little nervous at first about moving to the middle of nowhere, but... One semester down, three more to go!

3) New Major

God has been taking me in a new direction this season. At first I declared Nursing as my major in 2010 as I was finishing up my associates due to external pressures. I then ended up second guessing my decision for a major in child development- ultimately in pursuit of a teaching degree. Now, I have finally learned that all the setbacks were setups for greater things to come. After my nearly fatal car accident, my eyes were opened and I learned that life is very short. It is but a vapor. That is why in obedience I have left the Nursing program and I am now in pursuit of what I'm most passionate about...ministry. I know it may not be a "realistic" career path, but with Gods guidance and my step of faith, I pray He blesses me in all of my endeavors.

  

4) New Church

At first I was not looking forward to being so far away from my home church until I started looking at the bright side of things. I saw this as an opportunity to meet new people, grow in God, and to do things differently. God knew what He was doing when He sent several individuals to recommend this church to me before I started looking. I thought about visiting a few other churches to keep an open mind, but after prayer and a few church visits- I felt peace in my spirit being at this place. I'm glad for my new home away from home and thank God for new beginnings!



5) New Friends

One thing that I prayed for was to meet more individuals that truly loved God and love people. I can say that I met just that! God has placed people and mentors in my life this season that have taught me to love others more, which is something I have desired for quite some time. I love these ladies and gents right here! Y'all are AWESOME!!!


6) New Routine

After moving and adjusting to new changes taking place in my life, I decided to make a few lifestyle changes! Lately, I've been working out like CrAzy! With this new change taking a toll on my body, I deiced to start eating healthier as well.


7) New Opportunities

Shortly after my move to my new town, I found new opportunities to expand and explore new ventures in my writing skills as a past time. I can say that pursuing what your most passionate about is truly rewarding. With prayers and supplications, I have made my requests known to God and He has opened several doors for me to glorify Him through the set of skills He has equipped me with, so stay tuned. I'm making a faith move!

Overall, God has placed me exactly where I needed to be to get to the next level in my walk with Him. He knew exactly what individuals to place in my life in this season and I am beyond grateful for everyone who has contributed to my growth and new perspective on life thus far. I asked God for change, and He granted it to me...but in His own timing. :) My heart is grateful for new beginnings.

A lot of new changes have taken place this past year and I look forward to what lies ahead on this journey that I'm traveling.

"Behold, I am making all things new."- Revelation 21:5

P4CM | Passion 4 Christ Movement (Spoken Word)

I was recently watching spoken word artists on YouTube and these are a few of my favorites thus far by Janette McGhee also known as MissTerious Janette...ikz (pronounced mysterious genetics.) Despite overcoming adversity growing up, she has been a performing artist in the areas of poetry, dance, and music for over 18 years! I hope the videos below are an encouragement to all who stumble across it. Enjoy! :)

For more information about the Passion 4 Christ Movement, visit P4CM.com

Disclaimer: The original recording can be found at the following links:  [ Ready or Not by RHETORIC Poets Ezekiel & Janette ]  [ I Will Wait For You ] and [ 31 Status ]

30 Days of Prayer for that Special Someone

Recently, a friend of mine inspired me to start a daily prayer journal for my future hubby in order to cover him and our ministry with prayer. Instead of wasting time serial dating all the wrong guys, start investing time in prayer for the right one! I believe it is important to learn how to be kingdom minded (Matt. 6:33) and put the Lord first before marriage so that He will remain the first priority during marriage. You can start by having devotionals together and investing more time in spiritual things such as prayer which will discipline you both spiritually. In everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. I don’t know about you, but I want a kingdom marriage and mindset which glorifies God and that can only happen when He is the head of our household and the center of our lives. Take Aquila and Priscilla for example; everywhere in scripture you see them together, complementing one another in ministry. :)

Starting this prayer journal has allowed me to exercise spiritual discipline and consistency on a daily basis. No matter how busy I may get or how late it is in the night, I have learned to always make time for Him! I wasn't planning on sharing this journal, but I felt parts of it may help someone who reads this one day so please keep that in mind. :)

I believe this Journal entry may expand into prayer for my children and nation as well in the future, so stay tuned!

Click here to read my online prayer journal or the tab above labeled: Journal Entries: 30 Days of Prayer

Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

My spirit was lifted this morning after listening to this song by Indiana Bible College titled: La Buena Vida- I just had to share. :)  Check out the video below or click here.

 

I know I have been M.I.A lately; I've been wrapped up with school and Bible College full-time, 27 hours is no joke! However, all of this has caused me to lean on the everlasting arms of God and depend on Him for strength! A lot has happened since my last update. For starters, I came back from a life changing trip this weekend in Pine Prairie, Louisiana. I met a lot of amazing, hospitable individuals- of which, some helped guide and teach me some things about myself. Going on this trip helped me to see others through the eyes of God. Due to all the spiritual dark things that occur in that part of Louisiana, the church is in constant battle and prepared through spiritual warfare prayer and I could feel it the when I came into the church. The first night of the trip, we broke loose in POWER-packed prayer that filled the sanctuary! It was truly liberating to be in an atmosphere like that. It's time for God's people to press in prayer and in the word like never before!!!

I'm excited about all the things God is doing in my life right now. In this season I'm in- I've learned to be content in all things and worship God from a heart of thanksgiving and press in prayer on a deeper level- the type of prayer that will shake a jail cell. There is POWER that comes when your in that intimate place of prayer or intercession, being word fed, spirit led, and having a heart of gratitude as you worship the living God. Jesus is drawing me into that place of intimacy where it's just me and Him with no distractions---and my spirit has been content because of it. This is a season where I've learned to be content while single and would not have it any other way! I have time to do more things for God and myself-The Apostle Paul wasn't lying!;-) For some individuals, it takes longer to realize the importance of understanding their identity in Christ, to learn to put Him first, and being content while doing so. When you understand your identity is in Christ and who you are in Him, it doesn't matter what other people say or think about you. Once you do, He will begin to trust you with more, open doors, and elevate you into a deep place of intimacy with Him.

I've been talking to one of my close friends about the things I want to do next semester, not only to take me even deeper spiritually, but for myself as well- to enjoy the little things in life. For starters, I want to attend more prayer meetings weekly where I feel the liberty to break loose and not worry about being too loud. There are several things that I am passionate about- dreams and visions God has placed in my heart, but I have allowed myself to get so busy that some of them have gone unfulfilled. I got excited today thinking of the goals I am setting for myself next semester as I take another well needed rest. As I have mentioned in previous posts, there are talents that I was once passionate about and as I take time off to grow spiritually and focus even more on God and ministry- I will have more time to develop these. One good thing that has come from taking 27 hours this semester is that I had to learn not to procrastinate, but to prioritize and get ahead as much as possible just to find a little spare time to relax or even sleep. Some things I haven't done in a while include: pleasure reading, working out, cooking, art, decorating, studying/interpreting other languages, and waking up before 7 A.M.  :-) If you don't make time to rest, it can have a toll on you emotionally, spiritually, and physically when there is no balance.

You're never too young to live for God or fulfill some of the promises He has in store for your life at a young age. Timothy, David, Jeremiah, and Samuel were all young, but God still used them in mighty ways. Continue persevering and enduring the trials that are sent into your life to refine and purify you as gold while manifesting the fruit of the spirit and wisdom necessary to be used in that way. God is looking for individuals who are ready to say "Here I am Lord, use me for your glory." Until we get in that "sold out" for Christ mindset and stop allowing things to hinder us (distractions) from reaching our full potential, we will never reach our destination where God wants us to be spiritually in order to fulfill our calling to the fullest! 

Amazing things will begin to flow and manifest around and through you when you learn to flow in the spirit of Christ which dwells in you. You need to get full and running over through prayer, praise- worshiping God in spirit and in truth, and walking in the love of Christ. When you get full and running over with the spirit of Christ, He will fill your heart with an overwhelming amount of joy, peace, and the love of God through the Holy Ghost that you can't help but to be filled with the same amount of gratitude. Ezekiel understood this when he talked about water flowing from the temple. He said that at first he was ankle deep, then knee deep, waist deep until it was deep enough to swim in- a river that could not be passed through. It is important to learn how to tap into that life-source the Holy Spirit brings at any given time when you get in that deep place of intimacy with God and are prepared to minister in season and out of season. The same resurrection power that raised Christ from the dead is the same power that lies within you when you are filled with the Holy Spirit.

It's so easy for us to have the greener grass syndrome when we look at someone Else's life and think that they have it easier. I read a quote yesterday by Regina Brett which said: "If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone Else's, we'd grab ours back!" Perspective is Key- you can look at other individuals in ministry and say "I want what they have," but are you willing to pay the price or make the sacrifices necessary in order to be used in a similar manner. To sum up it all up: I'm reminded of the Apostle Paul- he was shipwrecked three times, bitten by a poisonous snake, left for dead -yet this man still knew how to give thanks in all things and count it all joy if he suffered for the name of Christ. He had an attitude of gratitude!

My First Love

I felt it impressed upon my heart recently that God wanted me to share parts of my testimony…when and where that will be, I have no clue. Recently, the Lord put it on my heart to start reaching out more to the young girls around me and to be a positive role model. As I have been pressing in deeper prayer, He has been dealing with me about some things. Recently, what He laid on my heart is regarding relationships. 

The topic that was preached on Sunday night was about “God Alone.” For those of you that are not familiar with the story of Abraham and Isaac, refer to Genesis 15-17. As the years went by and Abram grew older, he became impatient on waiting on the Lord and decided to take the situation into his own hands by listening to his wife Sarai to conceive a child through her maidservant Hagar. Years later, the Lord finally brought His word to pass and gave Abraham and Sarah a child at the ripened age of 100 and 90. Isaac was the promise child which God was going to make Abram’s descendants as numerous as the stars. Some thoughts Abraham may have been faced with as he was climbing the mountain on his way to sacrifice his son is: “Do I love Isaac more than I love God?” God will sometimes ask us to sacrifice that which is most precious or close our heart, mainly to test and reveal to us where our desires truly lie because He already knows. The reoccurring theme I have been hearing all summer is about standing on the promises of God, faith, values, and sacrifice. As Pastor Hargrove often likes to say: “Our values determine our desires, our desires set our priorities, our priorities determine our direction, and our direction determines our DESTINY!”

When I first came to the Lord and He changed my heart and desires, I laid down several things at the altar by my bedside in return for a greater desire of how I want to be used by Him. Nothing could compare to the honeymoon phase I was in with the Lord for those 6 months to 1 year...it felt like I was on cloud 9! I could not get enough of His word because it was life to my spirit. I would literally skip breakfast and sometimes lunch just to meditate in His word and listen to various preachers because I was so hungry for more of God. I remember feeling His presence SO strong in my bedroom on more than one occasion because I had been seeking His face a lot, that it felt like I was going to die. Before that I had never really encountered the presence of God.

Two of my greatest desires: Marriage and Motherhood I surrendered to Him early on. Several months later, the devil started using that against me by feeding me a lot of lies of which I started to believe overtime. Eventually, the Lord set me straight and revealed His will to me, but the whole process itself of holding unto that desire and almost not wanting to give it up showed me where my heart was. There is nothing wrong with having certain desires because God places it  in our heart and answers them according to His will and timing. Besides it being written in the word, the Lord showed me that He is a jealous God and will do almost anything to gain our attention. When God puts a burden in you to serve Him wholeheartedly, you must be willing to lay down your very life if it ever came to that. Rekindling the flame you once had is the hardest thing to do after the fire you have for God dwindles down, that is why we have to always hunger and thirst after Him. If you want to go deeper in God, you need to have a burning hunger and desire in your heart more than anything else in this world.

When I was 18, I thought I was ready to take on the world. When I finally came to the realization that we are living in the end times, I felt an urgency to get certain things accomplished within a specific time frame. I was ready to get married (so I thought) and to move out and on with my life. I had picked up the mentality along the way that life doesn't really begin until you get married. However, what I failed to realize was that life truly does not begin until you are living for God filled with His spirit!

I can gladly say I have not been in any kind of relationship for almost 5 years now, and that is truly God’s doing. For starters, He had to heal my broken heart and make me whole again; on top of that it would have been a distraction for me in the beginning when I came to Him. I’m finally in a place where I can sincerely say I am enjoying my season of singleness and the friendships God is bringing into my life. We must first learn to be content with what He has entrusted us with before He will give us more. If you are not content while being single, most likely you are going to be a discontent married person. A relationship status change will not make the difference when it comes to issues that are already in our heart that need to be resolved. We must first gain fulfillment in Him and through Him. I am more concerned now about getting back on fire for God, pursuing the ministry I’m called into, growing my gifts, talents, and reaching the lost all around me.

Never settle for less than God’s best in anything! It’s so easy to compromise some of your values or standards when you're with someone you like, especially for a long period of time. Set high standards for yourself, but don't set it so high that Jesus himself can't meet them (nobody’s good enough for me syndrome). One thing I can testify through personal experience is that the way a guy treats and speaks to his mother is EXACTLY how you can expect him to treat you in the long run. Wait for a guy who is willing to lay down his life for you, a guy who is a gentleman and respects you as well as himself by setting boundaries. Wait for a man who is on fire for God, puts Him first in all things, zealous for the work of the Lord, and obedient to His voice. Remember you are a daughter of the most high King, so wait for a guy who will treat you like royalty…and you do the same for him!

Focus on God...drawing near to Him and He will make your path straight and open doors in your life. Everything that is supposed to be yours will come in due time that is in alignment with God’s will for your life when you live life according to His word, standards, and with an open hand policy. In regards to relationships, the closer two individuals move toward God in their relationship, the more they will put on the characteristics of His nature and move closer to one another as well. We can try to get ahead of God and take situations into our own hands like Abraham and his wife, or we can wait on God and gain strength and patience in the process.