True Love Waits...

I can't believe the day has finally arrived! I'm ENGAGED!!! Words can't begin to express how I feel inside. I am going to marry the man of my dreams (literally) in a couple of months! God knew exactly every detail of what I needed in a man to compliment me in my walk and our future ministry together. He is my best friend, my other half, everything that I asked the Lord for, and SO much more! I just want to be open to let someone out there reading this one day know that True Love Waits.

As strange as it sounds, I felt a burden at a young age to start praying and interceding for my future spouse in the 5th grade, particularly regarding his character and for us to go through our "for worse" moments before God brought us together. It was around the same time I began praying for him the Lord revealed to me his calling for the first time. That was over 13 years ago. I have a lot of love and respect for this man because I waited 15 years to meet him. Even though I had several opportunities to date, I choose not to knowing that God ultimately has the right man for me in mind one day!

Growing up, I used to feel embarrassed that I was not like other girls. I had no desire to go the places that they went or partake in some of the things they did because God set me apart...to be different. When we strive to live a life set apart for God there will be several obstacles that get in the way. Some people probably won't believe me when I tell them that I waited 31 years before I "officially" began dating. During my season of waiting upon the Lord, I learned to put Him first above all things. I felt that if I had begun dating at a younger age, it would have been a distraction for me. Just like any human being, I've had moments where I was tempted to compromise my desires, convictions, and settle- but I knew I served a big God who is always on time!

God has answered my prayers from the smallest details I desired such as his smile to greater matters such as his heart for God. I waited 24 years for God to heal my heart from a lot of things and restore my confidence in Him. I'm so glad He kept me through it all! There were always guys in my life and the opportunity was always there, but I am glad that I waited and did not compromise.

I am now marrying a guy who I can say is truly a man after God's own heart. A guy who respects me, honors me, challenges me, and makes me feel like I'm the ONLY girl in the world for him! Sometimes I think to myself- "what did I ever do to deserve an amazing man like this?" It's funny to say I am one of those girls who knew certain attributes about the man I would marry one day before I ever met him.

I'm here to encourage young girls to wait on the Lord, not to compromise their convictions for carnality or shortcut yourselves because God has the right man in mind for you if you wait for His timing!

Our Testimony: How God Brought Us Together

On our one year anniversary, I decided to do something a little different. I wanted to tell our testimony of what we BOTH went through before God eventually brought us together! In this brief narrative, you will get to hear from both sides of our story. For convenience, I have made our story available in text and soon video format. I hope you enjoy! :) -Priscilla

Priscilla: I remember the first time I laid eyes on him...it was at a Generation X Concert on August 22, 2009 which was hosted by a mutual friends church at the time...Bread Of Life. I just remember thinking, man that guy can really sing! I honestly do not think he even noticed me that night. However, after a few Reflect services a year later at Image Student Ministries (ISM), I began to fall in love with his voice.

Marcus:

Priscilla: I started attending Sunday night services and ISM's Mid-week service off and on throughout the year after I was re-baptized on May 2, 2010. There was a constant tug in my spirit to go back to North Cities even though I was a member at another church...

Fast forward to 2011- I officially joined my current church at the end of January and was learning to hear the voice of God clearly as He started using me to pray for others in the altar. It wasn't until Spring that I really began to pay more attention to him and even told our mutual friend that I liked him......that was until I found out his age. At this point, I was interested in becoming friends and getting to know him better because he seemed like a cool person, but I felt like he may have misinterpreted my friendliness and sorta pushed me away...

Marcus:

Priscilla: As time went on, I began to pursue God and started to have a few visions and dreams of which a few have come to pass. I was eager to receive confirmation from the Lord about my calling along with some other things I had been praying about, so I asked Him to show me on a specific date He brought to my mind. In the past, the Lord would bring specific dates to my mind when I would seek him in prayer about certain things...other times I would speak it out in faith and He always came through! God answered that prayer On March 23, 2011 as Bro Joe Ellis confirmed in the Holy Ghost what I sought the Lord on.

I remember being completely broken that day bawling before the preaching even began because God was ministering to my spirit throughout the day. I continued to work the altar as usual that night and at one point I saw B across the room on his knees praying before the Lord in his red shirt and blue jeans. :) I inquired of the Lord in my spirit these exact words "Aww, what's B still doing in the altar? I already prayed for him." I then felt an impression in my heart/spirit "that's my husband." I thought I either heard wrong or was loosing my mind and I dismissed any idea of being with him until I had another vision Mid-April where the Lord showed me something specific he has in store for the both of us.

Marcus:

Priscilla: Even though I had a few more visions and dreams, words of "confirmation" from others who do not know either one of us, and God using people around me to confirm some things I have seen in those visions and dreams...I had a few Gideon moments where I wanted to test the Lord through a series of "If this is your will, then let this happen..." and so on.

Marcus:

Priscilla: For a while, I wished that God would have just told me a simple "no" as He had done in the past with other guys and I remember asking Him, "why, why God did you show me this?" Life was sooo much simpler not knowing some things. Looking back now, I realize the Lord showed me some visions or dreams in advance (not only to teach me to have faith when He brings them to pass) so that I could intercede for His will to be done, have encouragement in the Lord, and....

Marcus:

Priscilla: I reached a point in my walk where enough was enough and I begged God to take away every feeling I ever had for this man from my heart completely. I could not stand having feelings for him while he was with someone else whom he considered "walking down the aisle with" and his family already adored her. I found a sister in Christ to stand in agreement with me, and shortly after praying...I saw him the following Sunday. I no longer felt any attachment or strong feelings for this man even though I still cared about him reaching his full potential and calling in Christ. In my attempt to try and move on, I started dating another guy whom I grew fond of overtime.

Marcus:

Priscilla: Even though I had let go of him and left him to God, I still thought about him occasionally and would keep him in my prayers as he came to mind. Even in my letting go, something about him still drew me to him...


Marcus:

Priscilla: I reached a certain point where I became discouraged "waiting" on God's promises to manifest that I sort of threw in the towel and gave up praying for "him." It was almost like telling God, "I'm tired, I give up! Three years is wayyy too long to wait in my book." Despite the children and calling He showed me, I grew weary holding onto His promises overtime. I basically developed the "Que sera sera" (whatever will be, will be) attitude. Three years went by and I decided to move onto another relationship.

Marcus:

Priscilla: I reached a place where I knew I had to surrender all by "letting go and letting God," so I laid him on the altar one last time. Despite all the visions, dreams, and prophetic confirmation...I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. It was a scary place to be in because I often wondered if His will had changed overtime, but it allowed me to put my total trust in God.

Marcus:

Priscilla: I believe God ultimately used the situation we were both placed in to grow the necessary patience I needed in order to be a mother and wife in my life.

Even though we know that for those who love God, all things work together for the good for those who are called according to His purpose... DO NOT give up on the promises of God for your life!!! If He has showed you something, stand firm on the Word of God and even put Him in remembrance of His Word. There is power in the tongue and when you speak things forth, you release things into the spirit realm. That is why we ought to bless and not curse one another.

EXAMPLE BELOW:

Anthony: It was a hot Sabbath day after church and my friend, Kenya, said she would take me over to meet Maeling if I’d stop harassing her about it. So over we went…

Maeling: I was chatting with a few of my girlfriends after church, when Kenya walked over and introduced us to one of her friends, Anthony. It was funny because my friends and I were just joking about how there weren’t any guys our age at this particular church. Anthony seemed very polite and we shook hands …

A: I walked over cool, calm and collected. I said hi and shook her hand and promptly looked away. I was nervous after that.

M: Well after being introduced, the group of us started talking about dinner plans and decided to get together for dinner. We invited Anthony to come along with us, but he said he already had plans but said he would try and stop by later.

A: So after I said I would catch up with them later, I tried not to run back to my car because I was so excited, and I had to make it back to see Maeling. So I got in “Bertha” and  was driving like a mad man all the way to the Southside while they were over in Midtown. I got to my aunt’s house, said my hello’s, ate some food and promptly drove back to Midtown. By the way, the food was good ( Just in case you’re reading this auntie).  I finally made it to this Indian cuisine place, where I knew I wasn’t going to like it all…but Maeling was there. It was hot, I was nervous, hands were sweating, face was greasy but I was going in.  Because it’s rare you find somebody so beautiful.

M: So we ended up at this Indian place for dinner, which I absolutely loved! We were all having a great time chatting, when Anthony showed up and ended up sitting across from me at the table. He didn’t come across very talkative, but that changed when I mentioned that I had been living in Atlanta for several years but hadn’t really explored the city.

A: There were a couple seats open. One at the end of the table, and one directly across from her, so obviously I chose the one directly across from her. I didn’t want her to forget my face. I wanted to talk to her, but I didn’t want it to seem like that was the only reason I came to the dinner (you know I gotta play it cool).  So I just chimed in here and there, whenever there was something I could relate to. I was surrounded by a whole bunch of females, which isn’t a bad thing…but I was only focused on one that day.  I asked Maeling how long she had been living in Atlanta, and she said she had been living here for years. Then I thought to myself, geez Louise this girl has been here that long and this is the first time I’ve seen her? Crazy man, crazy. Smh (inside my head though…Gotta keep it cool. You know what I’m saying.) So she started asking me how long I had been living in Atlanta and where were some cool places to hang. I think she was just being nice for conversation. And then she joked about me being her tour guide of Atlanta but I was dead serious when I heard her say that.  I was definitely going to take her up on that offer.

M: During our conversation at the table, I discovered that Anthony was born and raised in Atlanta. I then started to joke with him that he should be my tour guide of the city since I had been living in Atlanta for a while, but hadn’t really explored the surrounding areas. Well, after that, there wasn’t much more talking between me and Anthony at the table. After dinner though, we were all outside discussing our plans for the rest of the evening. I love to salsa dance and suggested that idea to the group. Everyone was up for it and Anthony even said he would try and join us later.

A: Yea…I had never danced before in my life. I wasn’t sure if  I was going to make it or not. But I had to make sure that when she closed her eyes that night, she saw me. So a brother was going to get out there and try. So I went home and googled salsa dancing clothes. After I got some images, I looked in my closet and not one thing in my closet looked like what I saw. So I just put on a shirt with some shoes and said I hope she doesn’t think I look like a bum. I wanted to look good because I knew I wasn’t going to dance well. Kenya was texting me and was telling me to hurry up, so I hopped in “Bertha” and hightailed it to Kenya’s so we could meet up with Mae.

M:  I arrived at the salsa spot with my friend Candyce and was super excited about actually using the new latin ballroom dancing shoes I had just purchased! We decided to wait around for the others before we started dancing though. Some of my other friends joined us and we were ready to roll when we realized that Kenya hadn’t arrived yet. We knew she didn’t live that far away so we were confused as to what the hold up was. That is when we were informed that she was waiting for Anthony to get to her place so they could ride over together. So yea…it was all Anthony’s fault.

A: When I walked in the door, the music was blaring and there she was, spinning in circles with her little fro. I didn’t know she was “Natural Chica” at that point. I went over scared out of my mind, because I was looking at these guys’ feet moving and I knew my feet weren’t going to move like that. Candyce and Kenya were helping me get my bearings out there, because I was definitely tripping over my feet. Candyce was counting out loud and telling me not to look at my feet. Then finally Mae decided to come over after she was done spinning around, to help this struggling brother. Finally I started catching on, and she said, let’s go to the main floor. And we started dancing.. So I was excited. I didn’t want to step on her feet. I was nervous about that part, so I was looking down. And then she started talking to me but I couldn’t hear what she was saying. I was hoping it wasn’t anything important and I didn’t want to lean in because she might have thought I was trying to kiss her or something, so I just said “uh huh”. To this day, I didn’t know what she was saying, because she talks so quietly. It was beautiful. Her hands in mine, moving to the rhythm of the salsa beat.

M: I was honestly surprised that Anthony even showed up. After all it was just him and a bunch of us women. (Wait…I guess that could make some sense). In any case, we were all having a great time, but I did notice that Anthony had never gone salsa dancing before so I decided to help him learn the basic salsa steps. He actually caught on pretty quickly, although it was hard to keep him from looking down. We did get to dance together for a bit that evening. Overall, it was an exciting night just getting to hang with my buddies and making a new friend.

A:  The funny thing about this night was that I was ripping and running all over the place just trying to be in this girl’s face and she had no idea. I left that night without her phone number or email because it was the first day that I had met her and I didn’t want to be pushy. I figured we’d cross paths again (Gotta play it cool) I left that night so pumped because I knew that if things went right, she could be the one.

From that very first encounter, we planted a seed of friendship that has bloomed into an amazing love. We are so happy to be at this point in our lives and grateful to God for blessing us with each other. We look to Him as we begin this union and at the same time, we feel extremely blessed to have the love and support of our family and friends. 

Almost 5 years ago, Broc caught my eye. He was handsome and charming...and I...well, I was a Facebook stalker.

Yes. It all started on Facebook....but like so oh-so-many short-lived Facebook crushes before us, we quickly lost touch and went about our lives. Honestly, this was probably the best thing that could have happened...because we both had a lot of maturing to do.

Life happened and we soon found ourselves setting out on our own separate directions. In fact, not only did life take us in different directions.....but it took us to opposite ends of the country. I began college at Howard Payne University in Brownwood, Texas, and Broc moved back up north to attend Indiana Bible College in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Ironically enough, we somehow managed to "miss one another" time and time again at various conferences, events, and hang-outs. I distinctly remember attending a conference in Lufkin, Texas when Broc was home on break from college. I spotted him across the tabernacle and pointed him out to a friend of mine, knowing that he looked SO familiar to me. When I asked who he was, she replied that he was from out-of-state but she thought he was married. It wasn't until years later that I found out that he had been there at the conference and made the connection.

Broc was always "THAT GUY" for me.....the one that I checked up on from time to time to see what was happening in his life. He was the one guy that I always thought about....even though we never had anything even close to a relationship before. I didn't quite understand what it was....but I knew that he was a catch and that who ever was with him was definitely a lucky lady!

In April 2012, Broc and I reconnected randomly through Facebook again (thanks to an adorable picture of him in coveralls..hehe) and we began to text. I would like to tell you that it was a fairytale beginning....but I was finishing my last month of my  business degree and wasn't really sure that I was ready to commit to anything but my own dreams to move to Austin after college....so I gave him the run-around for several weeks. He was definitely patient with me.

I wasn't looking for anything......and so it caught me off guard when I began to have feelings for him. I had been so dead-set on "not belonging to anyone but me"....but I soon realized that I wanted to be something to him. Something important. I fell in love with him before our first date....and on the way home, I called my mother in tears because I knew I had found the man I was going to marry.

Long-distance relationships are tough, but thanks to Facetime and unlimited text messages we made it through the longest summer of my life as Broc interned as a youth pastor in Detroit the summer of 2012. He moved back to Dallas at the end of the summer...and the rest is history.

Broc has been my rock...my best friend...my partner-in-crime...my love. I am so excited to be his wife soon...mother of his future little Broc-lettes...and partner in ministry. I am marrying my best friend...and there is nothing sweeter. I never imagined that I'd find someone so wonderful....he's a God-thing in my life. I'm so excited for this milestone in our story together and the many happy years ahead as husband and wife.

Update: 2016

Lately I feel as if my life has been off track. I have faced calamities back to back that it is almost hard to explain. Due to this, God has been stirring something in my heart to return back to the heart of worship. Today I felt the tug on my heart to return to the way things used to be when I was set on fire for Him. It’s not an easy task. It takes time and effort. When I take an imaginary glimpse into my future, I see myself in my 30’s with children and so in love with Him. I see myself raising my babies up in the Lord to be more like Him. My sons to be mighty men of valor and my daughters’ proverbs 31 women. Being a mother is not an easy task and I’ve learned that simply by watching others around me. I want to be the best mom I can be for my children and to do better than my parents in every way imaginable. My heart aches as I long for more. I feel God drawing me back to Him again and re-establishing me in my gifts and talents. I had to take a brief break from a lot of things for almost a year and a half which set me back again because I thought I knew what was most important to me at the time. Little did I realize that God ultimately knew what I was going through and the fire that I needed to go through for all things to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. What one may view as one of the worst calamities I have gone through thus far was really a set up for greater things to come. My heart lately has been doing backflips inside my chest. I have been longing for and reminiscing on different things such as marriage, memories, and high school friends. Sometimes I wonder how different life and things would have been if ended staying in my old neighborhood in Dallas. One little change and move in faith shifted my life for the better in the right direction. I have great memories simply by going to a different High School. My heart misses student council meetings, homecoming, the few minutes to catch up in-between classes which sometimes resulted in a tardy and last but certainly not least fond memories hanging out with friends. I miss my girls. I can’t say I had any real friends when I used to live in Dallas of which I’m grateful for the abrupt move as I look back because I changed for the better. I made even more real amigos para siempre when I got in the church that my heart has been missing lately. Lastly, tonight I felt something happen in my heart which struck a nerve and made me realize that I am ready for marriage. Due to my own set of personal experiences and upbringing, I have never been in a real relationship. It has kept me, but I saw myself breaking down and crying out to God tonight because I’m ready for the next step in my life. I used to see myself as an individual that plans in advance for everything as it comes to my mind (my purse is an example of that too), but what I could not plan on is being 25 and still single wanting to mingle. It never bothered me that I did not care to be in a relationship for the past 3 years because I was pre-occupied with school, but now I realize that I cannot put things in a chronological order such as 1. Graduate college 2. Get married and 3. Have children. My dream orders of operations may shift because I have been in college for 8 years and counting. I may end up 1. Getting married, 2. Having children, and then 3. Graduating college at this point. Life does not always work out as we plan it. The Lord’s ways are above our ways and His thoughts above our thoughts. His word says: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” We can always pray toward dreams, goals, and desires…but ultimately we need to put our trust in Him and know that our Heavenly Father always knows what is best.

What's At Your Center?

I haven't been feeling like myself for the past few months and by a "few" months I mean a little over a year and a half. It took some heartfelt prayer and "soul searching" in order to find out why I have been feeling this way lately. I had to make time to pray, seek the Lord's face, and write down everything that came to my mind afterwards to figure out what exactly happened.

I went through a season that I would refer to as my "awkward phase" where I felt as if I was "just passing by" or better yet a stranger in someone else's body. Thank God that seasons change and do not always last very long! For me, it began with putting one thing before my quiet time with God - work. A little over a year ago, I was working 10 hour shifts at another job which was physically demanding and by the time I came home from work- I was ready to crash and burn.

It was a domino effect.

Shortly after getting into the routine of working all the time, it became easier to spend the majority of my free time relaxing "just to escape" through the media before repeating the same thing the following day.

Garbage In = Garbage Out

Whatever you mediate on will become magnified!

For example, if you spend your time watching scary movies "just for fun"...don't be surprised if you find yourself wrestling with the spirit of fear.

Do not compromise your convictions for carnality.

I can only pour out as much into others that is being poured into my spirit. That is why it is important to be renewed daily through spirit-led prayer and meditating upon the Word of God! 

"Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." [Psalm 119:11]

I want God to take back full control over my life which includes my heart, calling, relationships, devotion, prayer life, and most importantly how I spend my TIME. It's so easy to get "caught up" with life- that is why it is important to set your priorities.

I realize now that:

I need to walk in forgiveness daily...

I need to show mercy to others...

I need to be moved with compassion toward others...

I need to walk in love...

• "If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same...36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful." [Luke 6:32-33;36]

• "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses." [Proverbs 10:12]

When I decided not to practice this for season, I learned the hard way that I can't swim upstream or against the tide and win...eventually the wave will come crashing down! In other words, I can't go against how God created me to be and still stand strong. It is like expecting a fish to survive on dry land.

I have to make time for all of my relationships- it doesn't just "happen" by itself.

This past Wednesday in class, I was reminded me of the verse [Matthew 6:21]: "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." and these three things came to mind:


1) Where was your time invested? Did you spend more time investing in the kingdom of God and wherever He has placed you...storing your treasures up in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroys...

• I'm reminded of the story of Martha and Mary. While Martha was distracted with much serving...her sister Mary chose to sit at the Lord's feet and He replied to Martha by telling her that Mary chose the "better portion"...to sit at Jesus' feet and listen to His teaching. [Luke 10:38-42]

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." [Psalm 90:12]

2) What did you do with the resources I gave you?

• When you are faithful in the little things such as your obedience in tithing, prayer, and devotion...God will entrust you with more. "Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy Lord."  [Matthew 25:23] 

3) How did you use the talents you were given?

• I'm reminded of the parable of the talents. [Matthew 25:14-30] A talent is a natural God given gift or ability. In this scenario, it is used as an illustration of a monetary reward...however, we still need to use the talents and gifts that God has given us ultimately for His glory. Unlike the slothful servant, we must multiply what resources He has given us and not simply bury our gifts and talents. What He has entrusted us with is given for the edification of the saints. We will all reap what we sow!

In conclusion, I have learned where you spend the majority of your time is what matters most to you! Strategize to prioritize! 

I thank the Lord for His goodness, faithfulness, patience, kindness, forgiveness, compassion and steadfast love toward me. He never ceases to amaze me! I am still a mess in the making to reflect His image and become more like Him. I do not want to be the person whom others want me to be, but the person God designed me to be! 

In the end, I have learned not to be a people pleaser, but a God pleaser. :)

P4CM | Passion 4 Christ Movement (Spoken Word)

I was recently watching spoken word artists on YouTube and these are a few of my favorites thus far by Janette McGhee also known as MissTerious Janette...ikz (pronounced mysterious genetics.) Despite overcoming adversity growing up, she has been a performing artist in the areas of poetry, dance, and music for over 18 years! I hope the videos below are an encouragement to all who stumble across it. Enjoy! :)

For more information about the Passion 4 Christ Movement, visit P4CM.com

Disclaimer: The original recording can be found at the following links:  [ Ready or Not by RHETORIC Poets Ezekiel & Janette ]  [ I Will Wait For You ] and [ 31 Status ]

30 Days of Prayer for that Special Someone

Recently, a friend of mine inspired me to start a daily prayer journal for my future hubby in order to cover him and our ministry with prayer. Instead of wasting time serial dating all the wrong guys, start investing time in prayer for the right one! I believe it is important to learn how to be kingdom minded (Matt. 6:33) and put the Lord first before marriage so that He will remain the first priority during marriage. You can start by having devotionals together and investing more time in spiritual things such as prayer which will discipline you both spiritually. In everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. I don’t know about you, but I want a kingdom marriage and mindset which glorifies God and that can only happen when He is the head of our household and the center of our lives. Take Aquila and Priscilla for example; everywhere in scripture you see them together, complementing one another in ministry. :)

Starting this prayer journal has allowed me to exercise spiritual discipline and consistency on a daily basis. No matter how busy I may get or how late it is in the night, I have learned to always make time for Him! I wasn't planning on sharing this journal, but I felt parts of it may help someone who reads this one day so please keep that in mind. :)

I believe this Journal entry may expand into prayer for my children and nation as well in the future, so stay tuned!

Click here to read my online prayer journal or the tab above labeled: Journal Entries: 30 Days of Prayer

Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

My spirit was lifted this morning after listening to this song by Indiana Bible College titled: La Buena Vida- I just had to share. :)  Check out the video below or click here.

 

I know I have been M.I.A lately; I've been wrapped up with school and Bible College full-time, 27 hours is no joke! However, all of this has caused me to lean on the everlasting arms of God and depend on Him for strength! A lot has happened since my last update. For starters, I came back from a life changing trip this weekend in Pine Prairie, Louisiana. I met a lot of amazing, hospitable individuals- of which, some helped guide and teach me some things about myself. Going on this trip helped me to see others through the eyes of God. Due to all the spiritual dark things that occur in that part of Louisiana, the church is in constant battle and prepared through spiritual warfare prayer and I could feel it the when I came into the church. The first night of the trip, we broke loose in POWER-packed prayer that filled the sanctuary! It was truly liberating to be in an atmosphere like that. It's time for God's people to press in prayer and in the word like never before!!!

I'm excited about all the things God is doing in my life right now. In this season I'm in- I've learned to be content in all things and worship God from a heart of thanksgiving and press in prayer on a deeper level- the type of prayer that will shake a jail cell. There is POWER that comes when your in that intimate place of prayer or intercession, being word fed, spirit led, and having a heart of gratitude as you worship the living God. Jesus is drawing me into that place of intimacy where it's just me and Him with no distractions---and my spirit has been content because of it. This is a season where I've learned to be content while single and would not have it any other way! I have time to do more things for God and myself-The Apostle Paul wasn't lying!;-) For some individuals, it takes longer to realize the importance of understanding their identity in Christ, to learn to put Him first, and being content while doing so. When you understand your identity is in Christ and who you are in Him, it doesn't matter what other people say or think about you. Once you do, He will begin to trust you with more, open doors, and elevate you into a deep place of intimacy with Him.

I've been talking to one of my close friends about the things I want to do next semester, not only to take me even deeper spiritually, but for myself as well- to enjoy the little things in life. For starters, I want to attend more prayer meetings weekly where I feel the liberty to break loose and not worry about being too loud. There are several things that I am passionate about- dreams and visions God has placed in my heart, but I have allowed myself to get so busy that some of them have gone unfulfilled. I got excited today thinking of the goals I am setting for myself next semester as I take another well needed rest. As I have mentioned in previous posts, there are talents that I was once passionate about and as I take time off to grow spiritually and focus even more on God and ministry- I will have more time to develop these. One good thing that has come from taking 27 hours this semester is that I had to learn not to procrastinate, but to prioritize and get ahead as much as possible just to find a little spare time to relax or even sleep. Some things I haven't done in a while include: pleasure reading, working out, cooking, art, decorating, studying/interpreting other languages, and waking up before 7 A.M.  :-) If you don't make time to rest, it can have a toll on you emotionally, spiritually, and physically when there is no balance.

You're never too young to live for God or fulfill some of the promises He has in store for your life at a young age. Timothy, David, Jeremiah, and Samuel were all young, but God still used them in mighty ways. Continue persevering and enduring the trials that are sent into your life to refine and purify you as gold while manifesting the fruit of the spirit and wisdom necessary to be used in that way. God is looking for individuals who are ready to say "Here I am Lord, use me for your glory." Until we get in that "sold out" for Christ mindset and stop allowing things to hinder us (distractions) from reaching our full potential, we will never reach our destination where God wants us to be spiritually in order to fulfill our calling to the fullest! 

Amazing things will begin to flow and manifest around and through you when you learn to flow in the spirit of Christ which dwells in you. You need to get full and running over through prayer, praise- worshiping God in spirit and in truth, and walking in the love of Christ. When you get full and running over with the spirit of Christ, He will fill your heart with an overwhelming amount of joy, peace, and the love of God through the Holy Ghost that you can't help but to be filled with the same amount of gratitude. Ezekiel understood this when he talked about water flowing from the temple. He said that at first he was ankle deep, then knee deep, waist deep until it was deep enough to swim in- a river that could not be passed through. It is important to learn how to tap into that life-source the Holy Spirit brings at any given time when you get in that deep place of intimacy with God and are prepared to minister in season and out of season. The same resurrection power that raised Christ from the dead is the same power that lies within you when you are filled with the Holy Spirit.

It's so easy for us to have the greener grass syndrome when we look at someone Else's life and think that they have it easier. I read a quote yesterday by Regina Brett which said: "If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone Else's, we'd grab ours back!" Perspective is Key- you can look at other individuals in ministry and say "I want what they have," but are you willing to pay the price or make the sacrifices necessary in order to be used in a similar manner. To sum up it all up: I'm reminded of the Apostle Paul- he was shipwrecked three times, bitten by a poisonous snake, left for dead -yet this man still knew how to give thanks in all things and count it all joy if he suffered for the name of Christ. He had an attitude of gratitude!

His Saving Grace

God allowed me to cross paths with this beautiful, strong woman by the name of Taylor Mitchell on February 13, 2009...five months before I had a dynamic encounter with the Lord! Overtime, I heard parts of her powerful testimony which has moved my heart and even encouraged me of the various backgrounds that the Lord brings us from. I am truly inspired by this amazing woman's story of God's redemption! She is living proof of God's love as she demonstrates that same love to others that He has shown her. I know the Lord is using her testimony to draw people unto Him and set them free! Check out the links below.

More details about her testimony can be found on Micah's page below...
http://www.myspace.com/micahdademitchell

Are We There Yet?

When I first began my walk with the Lord, one of the biggest issues I encountered was learning to wait. It seems in our society the lack of patience is often too prevalent. This is seen in how fast paced we tend to live our lives from express checkouts to "fast food." It seems if one were told to wait for something, the reaction from several individuals would be as if they received the death sentence. I know this is an area I personally have found myself struggling in. Despite the fact, the Lord continues to remind me to wait on Him. "Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength..." [Isaiah 40:30-31]. Sometimes, it may feel more convenient to hear a simple "Yes" or "No" from the Lord instead of the painful four letter word "w-a-i-t." 

Regardless, God continues to teach me to wait for His timing in all situations. Many of us may be familiar with the story of Abraham and Sarah. Abraham was a childless ninety-nine year old man and his wife Sarah was far beyond the age of conception. Even when she heard the very news that she would bore a child, she laughed in disbelief. God told Abraham that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars and this promise was fulfilled with the birth of Isaac. Abraham had to wait on the Lord for 25 years before he saw the promise of God fulfilled in his life.


In the midst of waiting on the Lord for all His promises to be fulfilled, I have faced several trials, temptations to walk through a door the Lord did not open, and many more things. Through it all, I have learned to grow in patience through persevering through these trials and I cannot begin to count the number of times the Lord has spoken to me through His word or individuals to wait. Thank God He remains faithful even at times when we are not. God is not a man that He should lie or go back on His word! He even states: "Not one word of all the good promises that the LORD had made to the house of Israel had failed; ALL came to pass." [Joshua 21:45] I am thankful we serve a covenant keeping God. Daily as He continues to remind me of this, it has allowed me to hold onto hope and faith in the midst of trials. As you begin to grow in Christ, so does the degree in the trials you are faced with. I know once all comes to pass in His timing and not my own, the wait would have been worth it all. As my Pastor once put it, Faith and Patience are twin sisters.

My Testimony

PART 1

I didn't quite have the Paul on the road to Damascus type of conversion. There was no blinding light or vision of Jesus speaking to me, however the events leading up to my conversion experience were equally as powerful because I am now a new person transformed by the blood that was shed on Calvary!

Growing up, my family rarely attended church. In fact, the first time I ever set foot in a church service, aside from attending memorial services or wedding ceremonies, was in the sixth grade while visiting my cousin one weekend in Arlington, Texas. However, I did not start attending church regularly until my sophomore year in high school because my parents usually worked many hours in order to provide for the family. 

During my senior year, as preparations for graduation began to take place, one of my closest friends at the time surrendered his life to Christ. Soon afterwards, he began talking to me about God and going through scripture with me throughout the week. He showed me key biblical principles and the type of life a person who is saved would live. At first when he began talking to me, I found it very difficult to listen to him or what he was saying, even though he would support whatever he said with scripture. One reason for this was because I did not yet have a change of heart which comes through genuine repentance. Light (Christ) cannot dwell where there is darkness. The only friend that I had known the longest and had the most respect for was being transparent and honest with me, yet I did not want to hear the truth from him. Accepting the fact that I was still a sinner who needed a savior was hard for me. I was ready to go far away to live the college life.

     Throughout the week, after having a lot of time to think, I examined myself and realized that I had made God fit my own standards instead of living up to His because I was the one defining what exactly was "appropriate" or crossing the line. The best way to look at it is to think of little kids. They will try to find every way possible to break the rules without actually breaking it from their point of view. For example, you tell your son to stop poking his little sister. In his mind, it means I can put my finger as close to her as possible still without touching her which is the same thing we do with God. I simply thought that it was enough for me to pray, read the bible, and go to church once a week, but once again I was proven wrong. It is not by anything we can do in our own power to earn salvation or good status with God because all of our “good works” are like filthy rags before the Holy King.

 Shortly afterwards, I began to separate myself from anything and everyone in my life that was not constructive for me spiritually and I started spending more time studying the Bible, wanting to find answers to the questions I had running through my mind. The more I studied the word of God, the more I began to realize that not only was I not a true Christian or saved. Rather, I discovered how empty and depraved I felt inside the more I looked into the Bible and began to realize the consequences for the type of lifestyle I was living. It was as if a heavy burden began to build up inside my heart as I learned more about the truth.

          Later, as the week progressed,  I began to seek the Lord wholeheartedly in prayer daily until he answered me. I had a moment when I felt an indescribable and immense amount love in my heart being poured out from Him to the point I found myself crying again on several occasions. Not because I felt burdened this time, but because for the first time in my entire life; I felt so much joy, love, and peace from within. The Lord was touching my heart, healing, and revealing His unconditional love for me as His presence came upon me for the next 3 days during prayer. Being surrounded in His Holy presence, I felt so unworthy and unclean to stand before such a Holy God. I was overwhelmed by His presence because prior to that encounter and still even to this day, I have not experienced anything that compares to it. At the time, I did not know what the Baptism of the Holy Spirit was nor did I seek it. All I inquired from Him was confirmation on how to know that I am truly saved because I had "given my life to Christ" as some would call it, several times in the past. My life has turned completely around! I no longer desire, whatsoever, to do any of the things that I once did. Instead, I have new desires to know God, seek His will, and live up to His standards of which only came after my salvation. I do not want to just simply claim it, but obey God’s word and apply it in my life, an application which is easier now than it was before. 

     Through this experience, I learned peoples lifestyles and actions can reveal whether or not Jesus is a part of their life because you will know a person by their “fruit.” Although people may judge based on what they see on the external, God looks directly at the heart. I also learned how authentic salvation brings forth a changed life. For a long time, I thought that I was saved, yet I still continued to live exactly the same lifestyle, and there was no transformation that took place in my life, although I noticed the hand of God at work in my life from my youth in the midst of all my brokenness. With this new desire in my heart, I want to be a witness for Christ to others wherever I go, even if it means being an outcast. It is better to be loved by God than to be loved by the world. This experience is important to me because now I see things differently than before with open eyes. I finally understand the meaning of the lyrics: “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me; I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see.” As a girl who was once lost in this world, I found my place in Christ and growing in my relationship to know Him. The Lord has delivered me from so many things: worries, past insecurities, hurt, and pain. With the unfailing love Christ had for me, He healed my broken heart and covered my wounds. He gave me new strength to overcome and endure whatever I may encounter, so He is forever to be praised. God is a healer, deliverer, comforter, protector, and provider…my Redeemer!

     It is true, “you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." However, not everything that may seem “truthful” is the actual truth. Only one person is “the way, the truth, and the life” and His word. Although most of the friends I once had disappeared or grew distant from me because of our different priorities, so many new Christians have come into my life recently and are helping to assist me in my growth.

Regardless, in the end, even if there’s no one left; I know God will still be there.

______________________________________________

PART 2

I  realize I am absolutely NOTHING without Jesus in my life! I wonder why it took me so long to realize that? Now, I can’t imagine not spending my day living for him in any or every way I possibly could. People have their many different interpretations of what it means to be a Christian or “Christianity”. I realize now that a lot of those interpretations are distorted, because we rationalize so much and try making the Lord fit OUR standards instead of living up to HIS and practicing what he actually teaches.

I wish I could tell all of you the things God has brought me through, and I will soon: even when I didn't realize it at the moment, as I look back at my past I know that God was guiding me, strengthening me, teaching me and protecting me throughout all those situations where I thought that he was so far away, even though at one point; I was the one running away from him, and it makes me love him even more because of his mercy. Why Jesus loves us so much I will never understand. The sad part is He died for me, and no amount of Praises or Thank-You’s in the WORLD would ever be ENOUGH for the price He paid. Because He gave His life, my life has absolutely no meaning!

I used to spend most of my time worrying about tomorrow, or the career that I will have in the future because I had no clue or much of an idea what I wanted to do for a living…or if that occupation I had would pay me enough to get me some of the frivolous things the world has to offer. I was so lost in this world and worrying about the now and letting myself become messed up in several areas instead of focusing on who should have been the most important person in my life.

I would compartmentalize God, which is, if I were to cut a slice of pie, the slice that God had was not the smallest, but certainly wasn't the biggest of which it should have been. I put several things before Him: friends, relationships, T.V, desires, and many more. I never knew who God really was, and to this day I still can't say that I truly know Him the way I want to even though I desire to seek Him in every way I can.

I know now that I had to surrender my life to Jesus…not a piece of me ALL of me and to put my total trust and faith in Him: He has complete control of all situations no matter what. I still don’t know what God’s will is for me...but I’m not the slightest bit worried as I once was because I know He is guiding me every step of the way. No other man can truly have my heart, because no other man can possibly love me as the Lord does.

My heart now sings a brand new tune. He has filled my heart with so much love, peace, and joy which continues to grow everyday to the point I want to show that same love in return to others that I meet. I found myself not too long ago just filled with an immense amount of joy in my heart that I started to cry. As tears were rolling down my face I had time to reflect and look back at something’s in my life, and I couldn't recall a single moment where I felt that much genuine happiness in my heart and it is ALL because of God.♥

*One thing I am certain, He CAN transform lives-but it all begins with genuine repentance and putting your absolute faith in Him!

"Learning to Breathe Again"- Tammy Trent

Death Is Not Dying: A Faith that Saves

“Cancer does not define me. Neither does being a wife or a mother. All these things are part of who I am, but they do not define me. What defines me is my relationship with Jesus.”

On March 4, 2009, what started out as a small talk to a women's group at her church grew into an event attended by 600 women from around Vancouver, giving Rachel an opportunity to share about her hope in the midst of terminal cancer. She shares a piece of her heart in her testimony of discovering God for who He truly is in the process. Too often in life we make the focus on ourselves [our innate sinful nature], when it truly should be on God and glorifying Him.  This requires learning to ‘Die to self’ daily by putting to death the deeds of the flesh. Rachel Barkey (nee Sawer) went home to be with the Lord on July 2, 2009 at 37 years of age.

"If all is well in our world, our view of God is unchallenged. He is good, He’s loving, He’s fair. But when things start to go eerie: that is when our true view of God is revealed. We think that God is not good, or that He is unjust. Or that He is not in control because hurricanes destroy whole cities, children are mistreated and abused. Wars break out and innocent people are killed, or women get cancer and die leaving their children without a mother and their husbands heartbroken. We try to fit God into who we want Him to be, rather than seeking Him for who He really is.”

Steve Lawson addresses this issue in his book “Made In Our Image”: 

“Our most rudimentary problem is that we do not fully comprehend who He is. Our thoughts about Him have become very unclear, fuzzy, and oblique. The results of this distorted view of deity is that it leaves everything else out of focus as well. Whenever we lose a right view of God, everything else gets out of perspective. Essentially, our view of God will inform our view of everything else. It will be the lens through which we perceive reality. And it will shape our thoughts, world view, attitudes, and perceptions. When our view of God is erroneous, our view of other things will be erroneous by default.”

Rachel concludes with this statement:

“In His providence, God has used the tough things in my life to draw me closer to Him. To show me His great love, and to teach me many things. I have learned that I am not perfect, and I have the scars to prove it: 13 of them. And they serve as a physical reminder of a spiritual reality that I can never be perfect on my own: I need a Savior. I have learned that the greatest evidence of God’s love is seen when I stand at the foot of the cross. He took my shame upon Himself and rescued me. I have learned that being a Christian is not just hope for the future, although it is most definitely that, but that it is the joy of knowing and trusting in a God who is loving and faithful no matter what the circumstances. So when I say that ‘Death is not Dying’, death will not kill my soul it is eternal just like yours, it is just this physical body that will die, but even it will be raised again, just like Jesus, and it will be better than the one I have now. Like everything, it will be better, because God is going to make everything new. And I know this Why? Because I know God, I know myself, I know the Gospel, and I know my purpose. I know I have a faith that saves, because my faith is in Jesus alone.”
To learn more about Rachel's journey or Watch the event video, visit: [Deathisnotdying.com]
[Click on either link above to watch video]