I Choose Life.

To watch the Official October Baby Trailer: Click here 

October Baby is inspired by one of few abortion survivors who make it alive outside of abortion clinics---Gianna Jessen. I've been avoiding watching this movie for a while because I don't like talking about controversial subject matters unless it comes to what God says. In the movie, actress Shari Rigby plays the role of the birth mother who had an abortion in the film. Little did the directors know at the time that she had a past abortion before choosing her for this role. After watching October Baby, I watched 22 weeks---another movie based on a true story.

During my Junior year of High School when a new candidate was running for President, I was presented with the terms Pro-Life and Pro-Choice without truly understanding what either one meant. I thank God for my having a Child Development teacher who took a stand and taught us that Life begins at Conception. We also know this to be true because the Psalmist David wrote: Behold I was brought forth in iniquity and in sin did my mother conceive me. If we truly can grasp all the things our body goes through just for conception to happen and all the things that can go wrong, it truly a miracle any of us makes it outside the womb alive!

I cannot understand how anyone can say I am For God and not be For Life. Speaking for myself, I cannot truly say I am a Christ-follower and make another individual whether they be in Christ or not feel condemnation or judgmental towards them whether a child was conceived in actual sin, or life beyond their control--- it's not my place.

I have a lot more respect now for women who carry their babies to full term even if they decide to give him or her up for adoption. I do not condone pre-marital sex, however; it is not ones place to look down on an individual if they are not married to the father of their child when he or she is conceived. If the person truly repents, God is just to forgive.

Most women who were asked why they went through with the abortion procedure ironically respond by saying they felt they had no other choice. Four weeks after conception takes place, the baby now has a heartbeat with blood pumping through its system. If you know anything about blood, THERE IS LIFE IN THE BLOOD. It is not anyone's place to play God whom is the only one who can kill the body and soul. In other words, He is the only one who gives life and takes it away [Job 1:21].We can see in scripture women who were barren because God is the one who can shut and open their womb.

If the word of God says having anger in my heart towards an individual is as committing murder, then what about intentionally putting an end to an unborn life? Every good and perfect gift comes from above. I came to the conclusion for myself,  birth control is one of the most selfish choices I can make when I have kids one day because I know that children are an inheritance from the Lord, blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. [Psalm 123:3-5]

In 2002, the Born-Alive Infants Protection Act was passed unanimously in the U.S Senate House of Representatives and signed by President George W. Bush Jr. Regardless, Silent genocide still occurs everyday. Approximately 3,500 babies are aborted daily (1.3 million yearly). Out of those aborted daily, approximately 1,270 babies are born alive in the U.S. and are still killed despite the BAIPA passed in 2002. There are everyday instances of which abortion still occurs such as in the movie 22 weeks. Due to negligence in a Florida Abortion Clinic the baby died 10 minutes after delivery despite the mother wanting the baby to live.

"Born Alive" is defined as the complete expulsion of an infant at any stage of development that has a heartbeat, pulsation of the umbilical cord, breath, or voluntary muscle movement, no matter if the umbilical cord has been cut or if the expulsion of the infant was natural, induced labor, cesarean section, or induced abortion."

The thief which is the devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Christ came so that we may have life and have it more abundantly. [John 10:10] Our God is the author of life and you can see His hand in all of creation. In Psalm 139, David states that he was woven and knit together in his mothers womb. I know God does not make mistakes, otherwise He would not be the One true God. People can give into temptation or even have situations beyond their control in life and find themselves with child. I believe a major reason of an individuals choice to have an abortion is selfishness.

The enemy will twist the Word of God to ones demise or destruction. In this case, it may come in the thought:

• Fear or shame
• No one will ever find out
• A child will only make things complicated
• I'm not ready to be a mother
• I don't want children
• It will only put strain on my body to carry to full term
• I don't have a support system
• My career has just begun
• I don't have any other choice

And the list goes on...

The reason I am writing this is not to give some convincing argument on my view on abortions, but due to God growing a greater heart in me for the least of these: orphans, brokenhearted, homeless people- the poor and needy. Watching this movie broke my heart because I know God died on the cross and rose from the grave in 3 days so that the enemy no longer has the sting over death. I cannot truly say I love God and not choose LIFE.

I remember an another amazing teacher I had my Senior year of High School and her story about her brother. I'll refer to him as Jimmy. When Jimmy was asked by his family if given the option of resuscitation or do not resuscitate if a medical emergency were to occur, he would choose resuscitation even if he were given 1% chance of living because he knows God will take care of the rest. I have been dwelling on that thought for the past week. If I were placed in a similar position where I had to make the call, I would not be able to. Give me 1% chance of living and I know my God is more than able to add 99% to that!

In High School, I always wanted to participate in a Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure event, but due to the legal requirements, I never had a chance to. This Pro-Life Day of Solidarity is something even closer to my heart and I hope I can participate in one day. I thank God He has given me a heart for the least of these from a young age. When I say I am pro-life, I'm taking a stand to choose LIFE and life more abundantly. I choose life, not death.

30 Days of Prayer for that Special Someone

Recently, a friend of mine inspired me to start a daily prayer journal for my future hubby in order to cover him and our ministry with prayer. Instead of wasting time serial dating all the wrong guys, start investing time in prayer for the right one! I believe it is important to learn how to be kingdom minded (Matt. 6:33) and put the Lord first before marriage so that He will remain the first priority during marriage. You can start by having devotionals together and investing more time in spiritual things such as prayer which will discipline you both spiritually. In everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. I don’t know about you, but I want a kingdom marriage and mindset which glorifies God and that can only happen when He is the head of our household and the center of our lives. Take Aquila and Priscilla for example; everywhere in scripture you see them together, complementing one another in ministry. :)

Starting this prayer journal has allowed me to exercise spiritual discipline and consistency on a daily basis. No matter how busy I may get or how late it is in the night, I have learned to always make time for Him! I wasn't planning on sharing this journal, but I felt parts of it may help someone who reads this one day so please keep that in mind. :)

I believe this Journal entry may expand into prayer for my children and nation as well in the future, so stay tuned!

Click here to read my online prayer journal or the tab above labeled: Journal Entries: 30 Days of Prayer

My First Love

I felt it impressed upon my heart recently that God wanted me to share parts of my testimony…when and where that will be, I have no clue. Recently, the Lord put it on my heart to start reaching out more to the young girls around me and to be a positive role model. As I have been pressing in deeper prayer, He has been dealing with me about some things. Recently, what He laid on my heart is regarding relationships. 

The topic that was preached on Sunday night was about “God Alone.” For those of you that are not familiar with the story of Abraham and Isaac, refer to Genesis 15-17. As the years went by and Abram grew older, he became impatient on waiting on the Lord and decided to take the situation into his own hands by listening to his wife Sarai to conceive a child through her maidservant Hagar. Years later, the Lord finally brought His word to pass and gave Abraham and Sarah a child at the ripened age of 100 and 90. Isaac was the promise child which God was going to make Abram’s descendants as numerous as the stars. Some thoughts Abraham may have been faced with as he was climbing the mountain on his way to sacrifice his son is: “Do I love Isaac more than I love God?” God will sometimes ask us to sacrifice that which is most precious or close our heart, mainly to test and reveal to us where our desires truly lie because He already knows. The reoccurring theme I have been hearing all summer is about standing on the promises of God, faith, values, and sacrifice. As Pastor Hargrove often likes to say: “Our values determine our desires, our desires set our priorities, our priorities determine our direction, and our direction determines our DESTINY!”

When I first came to the Lord and He changed my heart and desires, I laid down several things at the altar by my bedside in return for a greater desire of how I want to be used by Him. Nothing could compare to the honeymoon phase I was in with the Lord for those 6 months to 1 year...it felt like I was on cloud 9! I could not get enough of His word because it was life to my spirit. I would literally skip breakfast and sometimes lunch just to meditate in His word and listen to various preachers because I was so hungry for more of God. I remember feeling His presence SO strong in my bedroom on more than one occasion because I had been seeking His face a lot, that it felt like I was going to die. Before that I had never really encountered the presence of God.

Two of my greatest desires: Marriage and Motherhood I surrendered to Him early on. Several months later, the devil started using that against me by feeding me a lot of lies of which I started to believe overtime. Eventually, the Lord set me straight and revealed His will to me, but the whole process itself of holding unto that desire and almost not wanting to give it up showed me where my heart was. There is nothing wrong with having certain desires because God places it  in our heart and answers them according to His will and timing. Besides it being written in the word, the Lord showed me that He is a jealous God and will do almost anything to gain our attention. When God puts a burden in you to serve Him wholeheartedly, you must be willing to lay down your very life if it ever came to that. Rekindling the flame you once had is the hardest thing to do after the fire you have for God dwindles down, that is why we have to always hunger and thirst after Him. If you want to go deeper in God, you need to have a burning hunger and desire in your heart more than anything else in this world.

When I was 18, I thought I was ready to take on the world. When I finally came to the realization that we are living in the end times, I felt an urgency to get certain things accomplished within a specific time frame. I was ready to get married (so I thought) and to move out and on with my life. I had picked up the mentality along the way that life doesn't really begin until you get married. However, what I failed to realize was that life truly does not begin until you are living for God filled with His spirit!

I can gladly say I have not been in any kind of relationship for almost 5 years now, and that is truly God’s doing. For starters, He had to heal my broken heart and make me whole again; on top of that it would have been a distraction for me in the beginning when I came to Him. I’m finally in a place where I can sincerely say I am enjoying my season of singleness and the friendships God is bringing into my life. We must first learn to be content with what He has entrusted us with before He will give us more. If you are not content while being single, most likely you are going to be a discontent married person. A relationship status change will not make the difference when it comes to issues that are already in our heart that need to be resolved. We must first gain fulfillment in Him and through Him. I am more concerned now about getting back on fire for God, pursuing the ministry I’m called into, growing my gifts, talents, and reaching the lost all around me.

Never settle for less than God’s best in anything! It’s so easy to compromise some of your values or standards when you're with someone you like, especially for a long period of time. Set high standards for yourself, but don't set it so high that Jesus himself can't meet them (nobody’s good enough for me syndrome). One thing I can testify through personal experience is that the way a guy treats and speaks to his mother is EXACTLY how you can expect him to treat you in the long run. Wait for a guy who is willing to lay down his life for you, a guy who is a gentleman and respects you as well as himself by setting boundaries. Wait for a man who is on fire for God, puts Him first in all things, zealous for the work of the Lord, and obedient to His voice. Remember you are a daughter of the most high King, so wait for a guy who will treat you like royalty…and you do the same for him!

Focus on God...drawing near to Him and He will make your path straight and open doors in your life. Everything that is supposed to be yours will come in due time that is in alignment with God’s will for your life when you live life according to His word, standards, and with an open hand policy. In regards to relationships, the closer two individuals move toward God in their relationship, the more they will put on the characteristics of His nature and move closer to one another as well. We can try to get ahead of God and take situations into our own hands like Abraham and his wife, or we can wait on God and gain strength and patience in the process.

His Saving Grace

God allowed me to cross paths with this beautiful, strong woman by the name of Taylor Mitchell on February 13, 2009...five months before I had a dynamic encounter with the Lord! Overtime, I heard parts of her powerful testimony which has moved my heart and even encouraged me of the various backgrounds that the Lord brings us from. I am truly inspired by this amazing woman's story of God's redemption! She is living proof of God's love as she demonstrates that same love to others that He has shown her. I know the Lord is using her testimony to draw people unto Him and set them free! Check out the links below.

More details about her testimony can be found on Micah's page below...
http://www.myspace.com/micahdademitchell

From the Heart...

I'm sitting here, staring at a blank screen reflecting upon my life...at some of the decisions I've made, the path I've chosen to pave, and mistakes I have made along the way. Some of the choices I've made has left scares that only began to heal when I ran into the arms of a loving Heavenly Father, my Abba Father! Allowing scars to heal from past brokenness is not easy and for those who have never been brokenhearted before the struggle may be hard to understand. I have learned healing is a process that takes time of which that time lies in God's hands as the psalmist David wrote. In the process of being healed sometimes you may hurt people that care about you unintentionally . It's easy for people to turn to things that will bring a temporary "quick fix" in their life instead of allowing God to mend their broken heart. A broken and contrite spirit is one He will not despise because in His word it says: "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." God is still in the healing business, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" and that is what He did for me!


As I look back at my life and reflect upon certain incidents I can recall having several "smh" [shake my head] moments when I wish I made wiser decisions. This is one of those moments for me. Lately I've been going through some fiery trials that have slowly grown and shaped me into the woman I am becoming. Instead of becoming angry and questioning God for some of the things I've had to endure, all I can do is simply raise my two hands and begin worshiping Him for who He truly is because it is not about me, but ALL about Him---that is part of dying to self. A true christian is never exempt from suffering. In fact, [Romans 5:3-4] states we should "rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope."


Saints of God, all this suffering we will have to endure here on earth does not compare to the future glory we will receive! How else are we expected to grow in our faith and become more like Him in our character unless we suffer for His name sake and persevere through the trial? That is when the genuineness of our faith will prove true of which; it is impossible to please God without faith. Look at Job! I thank God for choosing an ordinary man like Paul who used to persecute Christians to write one-third of the new testament. He was no stranger to suffering or brokenness! Some people may look at the calamity in the world and question if there is a God, why He would allow some of the disasters going on in the world. Well I'm here to tell you there IS a God and ALL of us like sheep have gone astray from our shepherd. If your called to do mighty works for the Lord to glorify and lift His name on high, there is a major price to pay. Not many are willing to persevere and pay the price though. That is partially why many are called but few are chosen. 


The bible says in [Ephesians 6:12] "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." I have come to understand the reality of this piece of scripture. That is why He goes on further to instruct us in proceeding verses to put on the whole armor of God: the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the gospel of peace as our shoes, your shield of faith, a helmet of salvation and the mighty sword of the spirit which is the word of God. There is an unseen war going on in the spiritual realm in these end times, that is why it is important to be steadfast in the word of God because those who know their God will do exploits and instruct many. (If you do not believe we are in the end times, I encourage you to listen to Irvin Baxter on youtube.) God has brought me a long way and is in the process of making me whole, but there are more miles to go in this long journey that lies ahead. I've heard the expression, "When I'm down to nothing, God is up to something!" It's true! In the midst of confusion brought on by the enemy, I have learned the importance of worship, not being ashamed to stand up for His name...and trusting in God at all times to guide, protect, and deliver me from the schemes of the enemy. No one said this journey would be easy, but it it worth the cost! :)

My Testimony

PART 1

I didn't quite have the Paul on the road to Damascus type of conversion. There was no blinding light or vision of Jesus speaking to me, however the events leading up to my conversion experience were equally as powerful because I am now a new person transformed by the blood that was shed on Calvary!

Growing up, my family rarely attended church. In fact, the first time I ever set foot in a church service, aside from attending memorial services or wedding ceremonies, was in the sixth grade while visiting my cousin one weekend in Arlington, Texas. However, I did not start attending church regularly until my sophomore year in high school because my parents usually worked many hours in order to provide for the family. 

During my senior year, as preparations for graduation began to take place, one of my closest friends at the time surrendered his life to Christ. Soon afterwards, he began talking to me about God and going through scripture with me throughout the week. He showed me key biblical principles and the type of life a person who is saved would live. At first when he began talking to me, I found it very difficult to listen to him or what he was saying, even though he would support whatever he said with scripture. One reason for this was because I did not yet have a change of heart which comes through genuine repentance. Light (Christ) cannot dwell where there is darkness. The only friend that I had known the longest and had the most respect for was being transparent and honest with me, yet I did not want to hear the truth from him. Accepting the fact that I was still a sinner who needed a savior was hard for me. I was ready to go far away to live the college life.

     Throughout the week, after having a lot of time to think, I examined myself and realized that I had made God fit my own standards instead of living up to His because I was the one defining what exactly was "appropriate" or crossing the line. The best way to look at it is to think of little kids. They will try to find every way possible to break the rules without actually breaking it from their point of view. For example, you tell your son to stop poking his little sister. In his mind, it means I can put my finger as close to her as possible still without touching her which is the same thing we do with God. I simply thought that it was enough for me to pray, read the bible, and go to church once a week, but once again I was proven wrong. It is not by anything we can do in our own power to earn salvation or good status with God because all of our “good works” are like filthy rags before the Holy King.

 Shortly afterwards, I began to separate myself from anything and everyone in my life that was not constructive for me spiritually and I started spending more time studying the Bible, wanting to find answers to the questions I had running through my mind. The more I studied the word of God, the more I began to realize that not only was I not a true Christian or saved. Rather, I discovered how empty and depraved I felt inside the more I looked into the Bible and began to realize the consequences for the type of lifestyle I was living. It was as if a heavy burden began to build up inside my heart as I learned more about the truth.

          Later, as the week progressed,  I began to seek the Lord wholeheartedly in prayer daily until he answered me. I had a moment when I felt an indescribable and immense amount love in my heart being poured out from Him to the point I found myself crying again on several occasions. Not because I felt burdened this time, but because for the first time in my entire life; I felt so much joy, love, and peace from within. The Lord was touching my heart, healing, and revealing His unconditional love for me as His presence came upon me for the next 3 days during prayer. Being surrounded in His Holy presence, I felt so unworthy and unclean to stand before such a Holy God. I was overwhelmed by His presence because prior to that encounter and still even to this day, I have not experienced anything that compares to it. At the time, I did not know what the Baptism of the Holy Spirit was nor did I seek it. All I inquired from Him was confirmation on how to know that I am truly saved because I had "given my life to Christ" as some would call it, several times in the past. My life has turned completely around! I no longer desire, whatsoever, to do any of the things that I once did. Instead, I have new desires to know God, seek His will, and live up to His standards of which only came after my salvation. I do not want to just simply claim it, but obey God’s word and apply it in my life, an application which is easier now than it was before. 

     Through this experience, I learned peoples lifestyles and actions can reveal whether or not Jesus is a part of their life because you will know a person by their “fruit.” Although people may judge based on what they see on the external, God looks directly at the heart. I also learned how authentic salvation brings forth a changed life. For a long time, I thought that I was saved, yet I still continued to live exactly the same lifestyle, and there was no transformation that took place in my life, although I noticed the hand of God at work in my life from my youth in the midst of all my brokenness. With this new desire in my heart, I want to be a witness for Christ to others wherever I go, even if it means being an outcast. It is better to be loved by God than to be loved by the world. This experience is important to me because now I see things differently than before with open eyes. I finally understand the meaning of the lyrics: “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me; I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see.” As a girl who was once lost in this world, I found my place in Christ and growing in my relationship to know Him. The Lord has delivered me from so many things: worries, past insecurities, hurt, and pain. With the unfailing love Christ had for me, He healed my broken heart and covered my wounds. He gave me new strength to overcome and endure whatever I may encounter, so He is forever to be praised. God is a healer, deliverer, comforter, protector, and provider…my Redeemer!

     It is true, “you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." However, not everything that may seem “truthful” is the actual truth. Only one person is “the way, the truth, and the life” and His word. Although most of the friends I once had disappeared or grew distant from me because of our different priorities, so many new Christians have come into my life recently and are helping to assist me in my growth.

Regardless, in the end, even if there’s no one left; I know God will still be there.

______________________________________________

PART 2

I  realize I am absolutely NOTHING without Jesus in my life! I wonder why it took me so long to realize that? Now, I can’t imagine not spending my day living for him in any or every way I possibly could. People have their many different interpretations of what it means to be a Christian or “Christianity”. I realize now that a lot of those interpretations are distorted, because we rationalize so much and try making the Lord fit OUR standards instead of living up to HIS and practicing what he actually teaches.

I wish I could tell all of you the things God has brought me through, and I will soon: even when I didn't realize it at the moment, as I look back at my past I know that God was guiding me, strengthening me, teaching me and protecting me throughout all those situations where I thought that he was so far away, even though at one point; I was the one running away from him, and it makes me love him even more because of his mercy. Why Jesus loves us so much I will never understand. The sad part is He died for me, and no amount of Praises or Thank-You’s in the WORLD would ever be ENOUGH for the price He paid. Because He gave His life, my life has absolutely no meaning!

I used to spend most of my time worrying about tomorrow, or the career that I will have in the future because I had no clue or much of an idea what I wanted to do for a living…or if that occupation I had would pay me enough to get me some of the frivolous things the world has to offer. I was so lost in this world and worrying about the now and letting myself become messed up in several areas instead of focusing on who should have been the most important person in my life.

I would compartmentalize God, which is, if I were to cut a slice of pie, the slice that God had was not the smallest, but certainly wasn't the biggest of which it should have been. I put several things before Him: friends, relationships, T.V, desires, and many more. I never knew who God really was, and to this day I still can't say that I truly know Him the way I want to even though I desire to seek Him in every way I can.

I know now that I had to surrender my life to Jesus…not a piece of me ALL of me and to put my total trust and faith in Him: He has complete control of all situations no matter what. I still don’t know what God’s will is for me...but I’m not the slightest bit worried as I once was because I know He is guiding me every step of the way. No other man can truly have my heart, because no other man can possibly love me as the Lord does.

My heart now sings a brand new tune. He has filled my heart with so much love, peace, and joy which continues to grow everyday to the point I want to show that same love in return to others that I meet. I found myself not too long ago just filled with an immense amount of joy in my heart that I started to cry. As tears were rolling down my face I had time to reflect and look back at something’s in my life, and I couldn't recall a single moment where I felt that much genuine happiness in my heart and it is ALL because of God.♥

*One thing I am certain, He CAN transform lives-but it all begins with genuine repentance and putting your absolute faith in Him!

"Learning to Breathe Again"- Tammy Trent

Saline Abortion Survivor: Gianna Jessen

Gianna Jessen speaks at Queen's Hall, Parliament House, Victoria (Australia), on the eve of the debate to decriminalize abortion in Victoria.