True Love Waits...

I can't believe the day has finally arrived! I'm ENGAGED!!! Words can't begin to express how I feel inside. I am going to marry the man of my dreams (literally) in a couple of months! God knew exactly every detail of what I needed in a man to compliment me in my walk and our future ministry together. He is my best friend, my other half, everything that I asked the Lord for, and SO much more! I just want to be open to let someone out there reading this one day know that True Love Waits.

As strange as it sounds, I felt a burden at a young age to start praying and interceding for my future spouse in the 5th grade, particularly regarding his character and for us to go through our "for worse" moments before God brought us together. It was around the same time I began praying for him the Lord revealed to me his calling for the first time. That was over 13 years ago. I have a lot of love and respect for this man because I waited 15 years to meet him. Even though I had several opportunities to date, I choose not to knowing that God ultimately has the right man for me in mind one day!

Growing up, I used to feel embarrassed that I was not like other girls. I had no desire to go the places that they went or partake in some of the things they did because God set me apart...to be different. When we strive to live a life set apart for God there will be several obstacles that get in the way. Some people probably won't believe me when I tell them that I waited 31 years before I "officially" began dating. During my season of waiting upon the Lord, I learned to put Him first above all things. I felt that if I had begun dating at a younger age, it would have been a distraction for me. Just like any human being, I've had moments where I was tempted to compromise my desires, convictions, and settle- but I knew I served a big God who is always on time!

God has answered my prayers from the smallest details I desired such as his smile to greater matters such as his heart for God. I waited 24 years for God to heal my heart from a lot of things and restore my confidence in Him. I'm so glad He kept me through it all! There were always guys in my life and the opportunity was always there, but I am glad that I waited and did not compromise.

I am now marrying a guy who I can say is truly a man after God's own heart. A guy who respects me, honors me, challenges me, and makes me feel like I'm the ONLY girl in the world for him! Sometimes I think to myself- "what did I ever do to deserve an amazing man like this?" It's funny to say I am one of those girls who knew certain attributes about the man I would marry one day before I ever met him.

I'm here to encourage young girls to wait on the Lord, not to compromise their convictions for carnality or shortcut yourselves because God has the right man in mind for you if you wait for His timing!

It's A New Season...It's A New Day

I have been praying and longing for change for quite some time now and change has finally arrived at my front door! I'm engaged and pregnant by my long-term boyfriend. This news couldn't have come at a better timing. Back in 2011, we suffered a miscarriage due to doctor negligence. I didn't even know I was pregnant officially until the day came when the chunky tissue expelled out of me! 

I feel like I have been ready for change a while now...in scenery, location, career path, and open doors in general and it's finally happening.

Almost as if things are falling into place. There's nothing better than knowing you are pursuing or in the will of God. 

I feel like I finally get to live out some of my dreams and pursue some things I have been passionate about.

"Comfort zones don't keep us safe. Staying in God's will does." -Gateway Worship

As one friend of mine stated "be the best me for God that I can be..."

I can recall several wrong turns I've made along the way, but GOD turned me around in the right direction!

Ready For Change? Transition Time!

I am here to encourage anyone that has been praying, waiting for God to answer...He's an on time God!

I've had times in my walk where I was praying and it kept feeling like I was hitting a wall of either resistance, or just not breaking through. Sometimes sin in one's life or a lack of daily sincere repentance will hinder your prayers and you progressing forward.

If I have anything to boast in, Let me boast in the Lord for all He has done and will do! 

I have learned that Perfect Love casts out all fear. For what do we have to fear if we are walking in the light with Him?

I remember when I first came across this video below a few years ago, I thought it was funny because I used to be Jack. By the Grace of God, I no longer care to to comfortable or complacent in where I'm at, but I want to continually strive to seek Him on a deeper level and not set a limits on what He can and will do if I remain open and obedient to Him. As one mentor of mine used to say: "if you are faithful in the little things, God will entrust you with more."

"Life lived inside the comfort zone is life lived outside of God's will" - The Skit Guys

Update: 2016

Lately I feel as if my life has been off track. I have faced calamities back to back that it is almost hard to explain. Due to this, God has been stirring something in my heart to return back to the heart of worship. Today I felt the tug on my heart to return to the way things used to be when I was set on fire for Him. It’s not an easy task. It takes time and effort. When I take an imaginary glimpse into my future, I see myself in my 30’s with children and so in love with Him. I see myself raising my babies up in the Lord to be more like Him. My sons to be mighty men of valor and my daughters’ proverbs 31 women. Being a mother is not an easy task and I’ve learned that simply by watching others around me. I want to be the best mom I can be for my children and to do better than my parents in every way imaginable. My heart aches as I long for more. I feel God drawing me back to Him again and re-establishing me in my gifts and talents. I had to take a brief break from a lot of things for almost a year and a half which set me back again because I thought I knew what was most important to me at the time. Little did I realize that God ultimately knew what I was going through and the fire that I needed to go through for all things to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. What one may view as one of the worst calamities I have gone through thus far was really a set up for greater things to come. My heart lately has been doing backflips inside my chest. I have been longing for and reminiscing on different things such as marriage, memories, and high school friends. Sometimes I wonder how different life and things would have been if ended staying in my old neighborhood in Dallas. One little change and move in faith shifted my life for the better in the right direction. I have great memories simply by going to a different High School. My heart misses student council meetings, homecoming, the few minutes to catch up in-between classes which sometimes resulted in a tardy and last but certainly not least fond memories hanging out with friends. I miss my girls. I can’t say I had any real friends when I used to live in Dallas of which I’m grateful for the abrupt move as I look back because I changed for the better. I made even more real amigos para siempre when I got in the church that my heart has been missing lately. Lastly, tonight I felt something happen in my heart which struck a nerve and made me realize that I am ready for marriage. Due to my own set of personal experiences and upbringing, I have never been in a real relationship. It has kept me, but I saw myself breaking down and crying out to God tonight because I’m ready for the next step in my life. I used to see myself as an individual that plans in advance for everything as it comes to my mind (my purse is an example of that too), but what I could not plan on is being 25 and still single wanting to mingle. It never bothered me that I did not care to be in a relationship for the past 3 years because I was pre-occupied with school, but now I realize that I cannot put things in a chronological order such as 1. Graduate college 2. Get married and 3. Have children. My dream orders of operations may shift because I have been in college for 8 years and counting. I may end up 1. Getting married, 2. Having children, and then 3. Graduating college at this point. Life does not always work out as we plan it. The Lord’s ways are above our ways and His thoughts above our thoughts. His word says: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” We can always pray toward dreams, goals, and desires…but ultimately we need to put our trust in Him and know that our Heavenly Father always knows what is best.

He makes ALL things NEW :)

A short synopsis of this year...

1) New Year

I'm looking forward to going into this New Year with a bang! At this point in my life, I would have envisioned wrapping up my last semester of graduate school with my MBA, but life does not always work out as we may plan. Does it? ;-) Either way, I'm anticipating God for bigger and better things this upcoming New Year! I have learned to set realistic, personal, yet obtainable goals of which through the Lord's help I can achieve.

2) New School

After many long nights of NOT pulling all-nighters, I have just completed my first *official* semester of school. I was a little nervous at first about moving to the middle of nowhere, but... One semester down, three more to go!

3) New Major

God has been taking me in a new direction this season. At first I declared Nursing as my major in 2010 as I was finishing up my associates due to external pressures. I then ended up second guessing my decision for a major in child development- ultimately in pursuit of a teaching degree. Now, I have finally learned that all the setbacks were setups for greater things to come. After my nearly fatal car accident, my eyes were opened and I learned that life is very short. It is but a vapor. That is why in obedience I have left the Nursing program and I am now in pursuit of what I'm most passionate about...ministry. I know it may not be a "realistic" career path, but with Gods guidance and my step of faith, I pray He blesses me in all of my endeavors.

  

4) New Church

At first I was not looking forward to being so far away from my home church until I started looking at the bright side of things. I saw this as an opportunity to meet new people, grow in God, and to do things differently. God knew what He was doing when He sent several individuals to recommend this church to me before I started looking. I thought about visiting a few other churches to keep an open mind, but after prayer and a few church visits- I felt peace in my spirit being at this place. I'm glad for my new home away from home and thank God for new beginnings!



5) New Friends

One thing that I prayed for was to meet more individuals that truly loved God and love people. I can say that I met just that! God has placed people and mentors in my life this season that have taught me to love others more, which is something I have desired for quite some time. I love these ladies and gents right here! Y'all are AWESOME!!!


6) New Routine

After moving and adjusting to new changes taking place in my life, I decided to make a few lifestyle changes! Lately, I've been working out like CrAzy! With this new change taking a toll on my body, I deiced to start eating healthier as well.


7) New Opportunities

Shortly after my move to my new town, I found new opportunities to expand and explore new ventures in my writing skills as a past time. I can say that pursuing what your most passionate about is truly rewarding. With prayers and supplications, I have made my requests known to God and He has opened several doors for me to glorify Him through the set of skills He has equipped me with, so stay tuned. I'm making a faith move!

Overall, God has placed me exactly where I needed to be to get to the next level in my walk with Him. He knew exactly what individuals to place in my life in this season and I am beyond grateful for everyone who has contributed to my growth and new perspective on life thus far. I asked God for change, and He granted it to me...but in His own timing. :) My heart is grateful for new beginnings.

A lot of new changes have taken place this past year and I look forward to what lies ahead on this journey that I'm traveling.

"Behold, I am making all things new."- Revelation 21:5

What's At Your Center?

I haven't been feeling like myself for the past few months and by a "few" months I mean a little over a year and a half. It took some heartfelt prayer and "soul searching" in order to find out why I have been feeling this way lately. I had to make time to pray, seek the Lord's face, and write down everything that came to my mind afterwards to figure out what exactly happened.

I went through a season that I would refer to as my "awkward phase" where I felt as if I was "just passing by" or better yet a stranger in someone else's body. Thank God that seasons change and do not always last very long! For me, it began with putting one thing before my quiet time with God - work. A little over a year ago, I was working 10 hour shifts at another job which was physically demanding and by the time I came home from work- I was ready to crash and burn.

It was a domino effect.

Shortly after getting into the routine of working all the time, it became easier to spend the majority of my free time relaxing "just to escape" through the media before repeating the same thing the following day.

Garbage In = Garbage Out

Whatever you mediate on will become magnified!

For example, if you spend your time watching scary movies "just for fun"...don't be surprised if you find yourself wrestling with the spirit of fear.

Do not compromise your convictions for carnality.

I can only pour out as much into others that is being poured into my spirit. That is why it is important to be renewed daily through spirit-led prayer and meditating upon the Word of God! 

"Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." [Psalm 119:11]

I want God to take back full control over my life which includes my heart, calling, relationships, devotion, prayer life, and most importantly how I spend my TIME. It's so easy to get "caught up" with life- that is why it is important to set your priorities.

I realize now that:

I need to walk in forgiveness daily...

I need to show mercy to others...

I need to be moved with compassion toward others...

I need to walk in love...

• "If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same...36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful." [Luke 6:32-33;36]

• "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses." [Proverbs 10:12]

When I decided not to practice this for season, I learned the hard way that I can't swim upstream or against the tide and win...eventually the wave will come crashing down! In other words, I can't go against how God created me to be and still stand strong. It is like expecting a fish to survive on dry land.

I have to make time for all of my relationships- it doesn't just "happen" by itself.

This past Wednesday in class, I was reminded me of the verse [Matthew 6:21]: "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." and these three things came to mind:


1) Where was your time invested? Did you spend more time investing in the kingdom of God and wherever He has placed you...storing your treasures up in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroys...

• I'm reminded of the story of Martha and Mary. While Martha was distracted with much serving...her sister Mary chose to sit at the Lord's feet and He replied to Martha by telling her that Mary chose the "better portion"...to sit at Jesus' feet and listen to His teaching. [Luke 10:38-42]

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." [Psalm 90:12]

2) What did you do with the resources I gave you?

• When you are faithful in the little things such as your obedience in tithing, prayer, and devotion...God will entrust you with more. "Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy Lord."  [Matthew 25:23] 

3) How did you use the talents you were given?

• I'm reminded of the parable of the talents. [Matthew 25:14-30] A talent is a natural God given gift or ability. In this scenario, it is used as an illustration of a monetary reward...however, we still need to use the talents and gifts that God has given us ultimately for His glory. Unlike the slothful servant, we must multiply what resources He has given us and not simply bury our gifts and talents. What He has entrusted us with is given for the edification of the saints. We will all reap what we sow!

In conclusion, I have learned where you spend the majority of your time is what matters most to you! Strategize to prioritize! 

I thank the Lord for His goodness, faithfulness, patience, kindness, forgiveness, compassion and steadfast love toward me. He never ceases to amaze me! I am still a mess in the making to reflect His image and become more like Him. I do not want to be the person whom others want me to be, but the person God designed me to be! 

In the end, I have learned not to be a people pleaser, but a God pleaser. :)

A Heart For The Nations

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek." Romans 1:16

The other day I went to visit the other daughter works of North Cities UPC after service ended.    I was amazed at the atmosphere of worship created during service even though there were not many of us. It reminded me of a Full Gospel Church I had the pleasure of visiting once while touring the motherland. There were people literally on their knees crying out to God and praying in the spirit over there which moved my heart. I feel that God is developing a heart in me for the nations which is something I never thought would happen. I have felt a burden for a while to support missionaries although it is hard to imagine myself doing the exact work of a "missionary." Now I understand why I grew up with so much diversity around me at the schools I attended and through my friendships. I have always loved learning about other cultures and languages growing up! Now the Lord is slowly opening doors of opportunities in front of me and making the right connections. I can't wait until I begin visiting other nations all over the world one day. Nothing beats two hours of unstructured praise and worship outdoors! Right now, I know God is training and preparing me where He has currently placed me. I now feel comfortable sharing the gospel and love of God with random strangers. 

I know I'll feel right at home being in their midst one day!

Update: My Progress

Earlier this week I couldn't sleep, so I began to type. As I laid in bed, I began to reflect on major changes that I have noticed in my life recently- whether some may perceive it as a good thing or bad. I feel like an update is looong overdue! I realize that I have been slacking BIG time on writing, but who reads blogs anyways. ;)

1) I have officially become somewhat of an introvert

Ha. I guess this is not really news... :)

2) I've matured in the way I handle and approach situations

As an old friend of mine would say, we thank God!

3) I've grown a little more in patience

Every growth in patience is an achievement for me because I can see the progress and growth I'm making in God with His guidance. I noticed that I have become more tolerant of people. For the most part, I've always had a calm demeanor...but lately I have been feeling a deep calm-stillness in my spirit. I don't know what to call it, but hey- I like it!

4) My love for God has grown as well as my attitude of gratitude

I guess this is pretty much self-explanatory...

5) I've grown in a deeper love for people...even strangers

I guess I should attribute my love for others growing as I'm learning to fall in love with Jesus all over again. It seems like I'm meeting new people every week or so and I LOVE it! The only down side to my growing heart of compassion is that I often feel more vulnerable to get hurt easily.

6) I prefer listening as opposed to speaking

It's funny when I think about this because I remember back in High School how several of my friends and siblings would say: "Priscilla, you talk too much!" Lol Now- I do not concur! Oh, how things have changed! Today I was reminded of the scripture in James 1:19 "...let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak..." I believe God has been teaching me this. If I seem suspiciously quiet now-a-days, it is not because I have a lot on my mind or that I have nothing to say. I would just rather listen.

7) I've become more lady-like...no more tom-boyish ways

I grew up in a household with brothers. This resulted in me sharing a lot of the same activities with them from video games to sports as well as friends. In fact, majority of my close friends growing up were guys. I guess I felt that I could relate and be more transparent around them. Something has changed in my spirit this past year that even if I tried willingly to resort to my old ways, I can't. I believe women can still be fun and maintain their femininity. I'm not going to lie. There are occasions that I miss interacting with the opposite sex, but then I realize the importance of setting and maintaining boundaries. I can't believe the day has come where my female friends outnumber my guy friends! Through it all, one thing still remains the same. I can still count the number of my genuine friends with the fingers on my left hand.

Change is not something that happens all of a sudden overnight. It took years for some habits to form, and it may even take some years to break. By the Grace of God I am not the same person I was about 5 years ago when God began to do a work in me and thank the Lord He's not finished yet! 

Disclaimer: Playing video games, sports, or preferring male companionship does not necessarily make one tom-boyish.

Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

My spirit was lifted this morning after listening to this song by Indiana Bible College titled: La Buena Vida- I just had to share. :)  Check out the video below or click here.

 

I know I have been M.I.A lately; I've been wrapped up with school and Bible College full-time, 27 hours is no joke! However, all of this has caused me to lean on the everlasting arms of God and depend on Him for strength! A lot has happened since my last update. For starters, I came back from a life changing trip this weekend in Pine Prairie, Louisiana. I met a lot of amazing, hospitable individuals- of which, some helped guide and teach me some things about myself. Going on this trip helped me to see others through the eyes of God. Due to all the spiritual dark things that occur in that part of Louisiana, the church is in constant battle and prepared through spiritual warfare prayer and I could feel it the when I came into the church. The first night of the trip, we broke loose in POWER-packed prayer that filled the sanctuary! It was truly liberating to be in an atmosphere like that. It's time for God's people to press in prayer and in the word like never before!!!

I'm excited about all the things God is doing in my life right now. In this season I'm in- I've learned to be content in all things and worship God from a heart of thanksgiving and press in prayer on a deeper level- the type of prayer that will shake a jail cell. There is POWER that comes when your in that intimate place of prayer or intercession, being word fed, spirit led, and having a heart of gratitude as you worship the living God. Jesus is drawing me into that place of intimacy where it's just me and Him with no distractions---and my spirit has been content because of it. This is a season where I've learned to be content while single and would not have it any other way! I have time to do more things for God and myself-The Apostle Paul wasn't lying!;-) For some individuals, it takes longer to realize the importance of understanding their identity in Christ, to learn to put Him first, and being content while doing so. When you understand your identity is in Christ and who you are in Him, it doesn't matter what other people say or think about you. Once you do, He will begin to trust you with more, open doors, and elevate you into a deep place of intimacy with Him.

I've been talking to one of my close friends about the things I want to do next semester, not only to take me even deeper spiritually, but for myself as well- to enjoy the little things in life. For starters, I want to attend more prayer meetings weekly where I feel the liberty to break loose and not worry about being too loud. There are several things that I am passionate about- dreams and visions God has placed in my heart, but I have allowed myself to get so busy that some of them have gone unfulfilled. I got excited today thinking of the goals I am setting for myself next semester as I take another well needed rest. As I have mentioned in previous posts, there are talents that I was once passionate about and as I take time off to grow spiritually and focus even more on God and ministry- I will have more time to develop these. One good thing that has come from taking 27 hours this semester is that I had to learn not to procrastinate, but to prioritize and get ahead as much as possible just to find a little spare time to relax or even sleep. Some things I haven't done in a while include: pleasure reading, working out, cooking, art, decorating, studying/interpreting other languages, and waking up before 7 A.M.  :-) If you don't make time to rest, it can have a toll on you emotionally, spiritually, and physically when there is no balance.

You're never too young to live for God or fulfill some of the promises He has in store for your life at a young age. Timothy, David, Jeremiah, and Samuel were all young, but God still used them in mighty ways. Continue persevering and enduring the trials that are sent into your life to refine and purify you as gold while manifesting the fruit of the spirit and wisdom necessary to be used in that way. God is looking for individuals who are ready to say "Here I am Lord, use me for your glory." Until we get in that "sold out" for Christ mindset and stop allowing things to hinder us (distractions) from reaching our full potential, we will never reach our destination where God wants us to be spiritually in order to fulfill our calling to the fullest! 

Amazing things will begin to flow and manifest around and through you when you learn to flow in the spirit of Christ which dwells in you. You need to get full and running over through prayer, praise- worshiping God in spirit and in truth, and walking in the love of Christ. When you get full and running over with the spirit of Christ, He will fill your heart with an overwhelming amount of joy, peace, and the love of God through the Holy Ghost that you can't help but to be filled with the same amount of gratitude. Ezekiel understood this when he talked about water flowing from the temple. He said that at first he was ankle deep, then knee deep, waist deep until it was deep enough to swim in- a river that could not be passed through. It is important to learn how to tap into that life-source the Holy Spirit brings at any given time when you get in that deep place of intimacy with God and are prepared to minister in season and out of season. The same resurrection power that raised Christ from the dead is the same power that lies within you when you are filled with the Holy Spirit.

It's so easy for us to have the greener grass syndrome when we look at someone Else's life and think that they have it easier. I read a quote yesterday by Regina Brett which said: "If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone Else's, we'd grab ours back!" Perspective is Key- you can look at other individuals in ministry and say "I want what they have," but are you willing to pay the price or make the sacrifices necessary in order to be used in a similar manner. To sum up it all up: I'm reminded of the Apostle Paul- he was shipwrecked three times, bitten by a poisonous snake, left for dead -yet this man still knew how to give thanks in all things and count it all joy if he suffered for the name of Christ. He had an attitude of gratitude!