"Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God” - Bob Pierce

Reverend Robert "Bob" Pierce was an evangelist to China and Founder of World Vision and Samaritan Purse: two organizations centered on aiding the less fortunate...


"Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God" is a profound statement Bob Pierce made, but I have found myself praying for the same thing occasionally.

What's At Your Center?

I haven't been feeling like myself for the past few months and by a "few" months I mean a little over a year and a half. It took some heartfelt prayer and "soul searching" in order to find out why I have been feeling this way lately. I had to make time to pray, seek the Lord's face, and write down everything that came to my mind afterwards to figure out what exactly happened.

I went through a season that I would refer to as my "awkward phase" where I felt as if I was "just passing by" or better yet a stranger in someone else's body. Thank God that seasons change and do not always last very long! For me, it began with putting one thing before my quiet time with God - work. A little over a year ago, I was working 10 hour shifts at another job which was physically demanding and by the time I came home from work- I was ready to crash and burn.

It was a domino effect.

Shortly after getting into the routine of working all the time, it became easier to spend the majority of my free time relaxing "just to escape" through the media before repeating the same thing the following day.

Garbage In = Garbage Out

Whatever you mediate on will become magnified!

For example, if you spend your time watching scary movies "just for fun"...don't be surprised if you find yourself wrestling with the spirit of fear.

Do not compromise your convictions for carnality.

I can only pour out as much into others that is being poured into my spirit. That is why it is important to be renewed daily through spirit-led prayer and meditating upon the Word of God! 

"Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." [Psalm 119:11]

I want God to take back full control over my life which includes my heart, calling, relationships, devotion, prayer life, and most importantly how I spend my TIME. It's so easy to get "caught up" with life- that is why it is important to set your priorities.

I realize now that:

I need to walk in forgiveness daily...

I need to show mercy to others...

I need to be moved with compassion toward others...

I need to walk in love...

• "If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same...36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful." [Luke 6:32-33;36]

• "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses." [Proverbs 10:12]

When I decided not to practice this for season, I learned the hard way that I can't swim upstream or against the tide and win...eventually the wave will come crashing down! In other words, I can't go against how God created me to be and still stand strong. It is like expecting a fish to survive on dry land.

I have to make time for all of my relationships- it doesn't just "happen" by itself.

This past Wednesday in class, I was reminded me of the verse [Matthew 6:21]: "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." and these three things came to mind:


1) Where was your time invested? Did you spend more time investing in the kingdom of God and wherever He has placed you...storing your treasures up in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroys...

• I'm reminded of the story of Martha and Mary. While Martha was distracted with much serving...her sister Mary chose to sit at the Lord's feet and He replied to Martha by telling her that Mary chose the "better portion"...to sit at Jesus' feet and listen to His teaching. [Luke 10:38-42]

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." [Psalm 90:12]

2) What did you do with the resources I gave you?

• When you are faithful in the little things such as your obedience in tithing, prayer, and devotion...God will entrust you with more. "Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy Lord."  [Matthew 25:23] 

3) How did you use the talents you were given?

• I'm reminded of the parable of the talents. [Matthew 25:14-30] A talent is a natural God given gift or ability. In this scenario, it is used as an illustration of a monetary reward...however, we still need to use the talents and gifts that God has given us ultimately for His glory. Unlike the slothful servant, we must multiply what resources He has given us and not simply bury our gifts and talents. What He has entrusted us with is given for the edification of the saints. We will all reap what we sow!

In conclusion, I have learned where you spend the majority of your time is what matters most to you! Strategize to prioritize! 

I thank the Lord for His goodness, faithfulness, patience, kindness, forgiveness, compassion and steadfast love toward me. He never ceases to amaze me! I am still a mess in the making to reflect His image and become more like Him. I do not want to be the person whom others want me to be, but the person God designed me to be! 

In the end, I have learned not to be a people pleaser, but a God pleaser. :)

A Heart For The Nations

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek." Romans 1:16

The other day I went to visit the other daughter works of North Cities UPC after service ended.    I was amazed at the atmosphere of worship created during service even though there were not many of us. It reminded me of a Full Gospel Church I had the pleasure of visiting once while touring the motherland. There were people literally on their knees crying out to God and praying in the spirit over there which moved my heart. I feel that God is developing a heart in me for the nations which is something I never thought would happen. I have felt a burden for a while to support missionaries although it is hard to imagine myself doing the exact work of a "missionary." Now I understand why I grew up with so much diversity around me at the schools I attended and through my friendships. I have always loved learning about other cultures and languages growing up! Now the Lord is slowly opening doors of opportunities in front of me and making the right connections. I can't wait until I begin visiting other nations all over the world one day. Nothing beats two hours of unstructured praise and worship outdoors! Right now, I know God is training and preparing me where He has currently placed me. I now feel comfortable sharing the gospel and love of God with random strangers. 

I know I'll feel right at home being in their midst one day!

Update: My Progress

Earlier this week I couldn't sleep, so I began to type. As I laid in bed, I began to reflect on major changes that I have noticed in my life recently- whether some may perceive it as a good thing or bad. I feel like an update is looong overdue! I realize that I have been slacking BIG time on writing, but who reads blogs anyways. ;)

1) I have officially become somewhat of an introvert

Ha. I guess this is not really news... :)

2) I've matured in the way I handle and approach situations

As an old friend of mine would say, we thank God!

3) I've grown a little more in patience

Every growth in patience is an achievement for me because I can see the progress and growth I'm making in God with His guidance. I noticed that I have become more tolerant of people. For the most part, I've always had a calm demeanor...but lately I have been feeling a deep calm-stillness in my spirit. I don't know what to call it, but hey- I like it!

4) My love for God has grown as well as my attitude of gratitude

I guess this is pretty much self-explanatory...

5) I've grown in a deeper love for people...even strangers

I guess I should attribute my love for others growing as I'm learning to fall in love with Jesus all over again. It seems like I'm meeting new people every week or so and I LOVE it! The only down side to my growing heart of compassion is that I often feel more vulnerable to get hurt easily.

6) I prefer listening as opposed to speaking

It's funny when I think about this because I remember back in High School how several of my friends and siblings would say: "Priscilla, you talk too much!" Lol Now- I do not concur! Oh, how things have changed! Today I was reminded of the scripture in James 1:19 "...let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak..." I believe God has been teaching me this. If I seem suspiciously quiet now-a-days, it is not because I have a lot on my mind or that I have nothing to say. I would just rather listen.

7) I've become more lady-like...no more tom-boyish ways

I grew up in a household with brothers. This resulted in me sharing a lot of the same activities with them from video games to sports as well as friends. In fact, majority of my close friends growing up were guys. I guess I felt that I could relate and be more transparent around them. Something has changed in my spirit this past year that even if I tried willingly to resort to my old ways, I can't. I believe women can still be fun and maintain their femininity. I'm not going to lie. There are occasions that I miss interacting with the opposite sex, but then I realize the importance of setting and maintaining boundaries. I can't believe the day has come where my female friends outnumber my guy friends! Through it all, one thing still remains the same. I can still count the number of my genuine friends with the fingers on my left hand.

Change is not something that happens all of a sudden overnight. It took years for some habits to form, and it may even take some years to break. By the Grace of God I am not the same person I was about 5 years ago when God began to do a work in me and thank the Lord He's not finished yet! 

Disclaimer: Playing video games, sports, or preferring male companionship does not necessarily make one tom-boyish.

I Choose Life.

To watch the Official October Baby Trailer: Click here 

October Baby is inspired by one of few abortion survivors who make it alive outside of abortion clinics---Gianna Jessen. I've been avoiding watching this movie for a while because I don't like talking about controversial subject matters unless it comes to what God says. In the movie, actress Shari Rigby plays the role of the birth mother who had an abortion in the film. Little did the directors know at the time that she had a past abortion before choosing her for this role. After watching October Baby, I watched 22 weeks---another movie based on a true story.

During my Junior year of High School when a new candidate was running for President, I was presented with the terms Pro-Life and Pro-Choice without truly understanding what either one meant. I thank God for my having a Child Development teacher who took a stand and taught us that Life begins at Conception. We also know this to be true because the Psalmist David wrote: Behold I was brought forth in iniquity and in sin did my mother conceive me. If we truly can grasp all the things our body goes through just for conception to happen and all the things that can go wrong, it truly a miracle any of us makes it outside the womb alive!

I cannot understand how anyone can say I am For God and not be For Life. Speaking for myself, I cannot truly say I am a Christ-follower and make another individual whether they be in Christ or not feel condemnation or judgmental towards them whether a child was conceived in actual sin, or life beyond their control--- it's not my place.

I have a lot more respect now for women who carry their babies to full term even if they decide to give him or her up for adoption. I do not condone pre-marital sex, however; it is not ones place to look down on an individual if they are not married to the father of their child when he or she is conceived. If the person truly repents, God is just to forgive.

Most women who were asked why they went through with the abortion procedure ironically respond by saying they felt they had no other choice. Four weeks after conception takes place, the baby now has a heartbeat with blood pumping through its system. If you know anything about blood, THERE IS LIFE IN THE BLOOD. It is not anyone's place to play God whom is the only one who can kill the body and soul. In other words, He is the only one who gives life and takes it away [Job 1:21].We can see in scripture women who were barren because God is the one who can shut and open their womb.

If the word of God says having anger in my heart towards an individual is as committing murder, then what about intentionally putting an end to an unborn life? Every good and perfect gift comes from above. I came to the conclusion for myself,  birth control is one of the most selfish choices I can make when I have kids one day because I know that children are an inheritance from the Lord, blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. [Psalm 123:3-5]

In 2002, the Born-Alive Infants Protection Act was passed unanimously in the U.S Senate House of Representatives and signed by President George W. Bush Jr. Regardless, Silent genocide still occurs everyday. Approximately 3,500 babies are aborted daily (1.3 million yearly). Out of those aborted daily, approximately 1,270 babies are born alive in the U.S. and are still killed despite the BAIPA passed in 2002. There are everyday instances of which abortion still occurs such as in the movie 22 weeks. Due to negligence in a Florida Abortion Clinic the baby died 10 minutes after delivery despite the mother wanting the baby to live.

"Born Alive" is defined as the complete expulsion of an infant at any stage of development that has a heartbeat, pulsation of the umbilical cord, breath, or voluntary muscle movement, no matter if the umbilical cord has been cut or if the expulsion of the infant was natural, induced labor, cesarean section, or induced abortion."

The thief which is the devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Christ came so that we may have life and have it more abundantly. [John 10:10] Our God is the author of life and you can see His hand in all of creation. In Psalm 139, David states that he was woven and knit together in his mothers womb. I know God does not make mistakes, otherwise He would not be the One true God. People can give into temptation or even have situations beyond their control in life and find themselves with child. I believe a major reason of an individuals choice to have an abortion is selfishness.

The enemy will twist the Word of God to ones demise or destruction. In this case, it may come in the thought:

• Fear or shame
• No one will ever find out
• A child will only make things complicated
• I'm not ready to be a mother
• I don't want children
• It will only put strain on my body to carry to full term
• I don't have a support system
• My career has just begun
• I don't have any other choice

And the list goes on...

The reason I am writing this is not to give some convincing argument on my view on abortions, but due to God growing a greater heart in me for the least of these: orphans, brokenhearted, homeless people- the poor and needy. Watching this movie broke my heart because I know God died on the cross and rose from the grave in 3 days so that the enemy no longer has the sting over death. I cannot truly say I love God and not choose LIFE.

I remember an another amazing teacher I had my Senior year of High School and her story about her brother. I'll refer to him as Jimmy. When Jimmy was asked by his family if given the option of resuscitation or do not resuscitate if a medical emergency were to occur, he would choose resuscitation even if he were given 1% chance of living because he knows God will take care of the rest. I have been dwelling on that thought for the past week. If I were placed in a similar position where I had to make the call, I would not be able to. Give me 1% chance of living and I know my God is more than able to add 99% to that!

In High School, I always wanted to participate in a Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure event, but due to the legal requirements, I never had a chance to. This Pro-Life Day of Solidarity is something even closer to my heart and I hope I can participate in one day. I thank God He has given me a heart for the least of these from a young age. When I say I am pro-life, I'm taking a stand to choose LIFE and life more abundantly. I choose life, not death.

Train Up A Child In The Way He Should Go...

I have no clue how I came across this video today, but I'm glad I did! It touched me to see someone so young on fire for God and being used mightily for His glory! Jekalyn Carr (no relation to Kurt Carr) is a 15 year old traveling Evangelist who knew the call of God on her life from a young age and answered it. This is the result of two parents who recognized the call on their child's life and with God's guidance, knew how to "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." [Proverbs 22:6] It is important for parents to be forerunners- not only for their kids, but the generations to come. I just wanted to take the time to encourage the younger generations to "press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." [Philippians 3:14] The Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy: "Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity." [1 Tim. 4:12] This young woman is an example to all; you are never too young to be used by God when you live a consecrated life unto Him.

Isaiah Jackson- another child God is raising up for such a time as this! 

"Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants
You have ordained strength, 
Because of Your enemies,
That You may silence the enemy and the avenger." [Psalms 8:2]

Disclaimer: The original recordings can be found at the following links: [Jekalyn Carr Sings Alpha & Omega]  and  [You Won't See the Wind or the Rain]

His Saving Grace

God allowed me to cross paths with this beautiful, strong woman by the name of Taylor Mitchell on February 13, 2009...five months before I had a dynamic encounter with the Lord! Overtime, I heard parts of her powerful testimony which has moved my heart and even encouraged me of the various backgrounds that the Lord brings us from. I am truly inspired by this amazing woman's story of God's redemption! She is living proof of God's love as she demonstrates that same love to others that He has shown her. I know the Lord is using her testimony to draw people unto Him and set them free! Check out the links below.

More details about her testimony can be found on Micah's page below...
http://www.myspace.com/micahdademitchell

"Learning to Breathe Again"- Tammy Trent

Saline Abortion Survivor: Gianna Jessen

Gianna Jessen speaks at Queen's Hall, Parliament House, Victoria (Australia), on the eve of the debate to decriminalize abortion in Victoria.

Death Is Not Dying: A Faith that Saves

“Cancer does not define me. Neither does being a wife or a mother. All these things are part of who I am, but they do not define me. What defines me is my relationship with Jesus.”

On March 4, 2009, what started out as a small talk to a women's group at her church grew into an event attended by 600 women from around Vancouver, giving Rachel an opportunity to share about her hope in the midst of terminal cancer. She shares a piece of her heart in her testimony of discovering God for who He truly is in the process. Too often in life we make the focus on ourselves [our innate sinful nature], when it truly should be on God and glorifying Him.  This requires learning to ‘Die to self’ daily by putting to death the deeds of the flesh. Rachel Barkey (nee Sawer) went home to be with the Lord on July 2, 2009 at 37 years of age.

"If all is well in our world, our view of God is unchallenged. He is good, He’s loving, He’s fair. But when things start to go eerie: that is when our true view of God is revealed. We think that God is not good, or that He is unjust. Or that He is not in control because hurricanes destroy whole cities, children are mistreated and abused. Wars break out and innocent people are killed, or women get cancer and die leaving their children without a mother and their husbands heartbroken. We try to fit God into who we want Him to be, rather than seeking Him for who He really is.”

Steve Lawson addresses this issue in his book “Made In Our Image”: 

“Our most rudimentary problem is that we do not fully comprehend who He is. Our thoughts about Him have become very unclear, fuzzy, and oblique. The results of this distorted view of deity is that it leaves everything else out of focus as well. Whenever we lose a right view of God, everything else gets out of perspective. Essentially, our view of God will inform our view of everything else. It will be the lens through which we perceive reality. And it will shape our thoughts, world view, attitudes, and perceptions. When our view of God is erroneous, our view of other things will be erroneous by default.”

Rachel concludes with this statement:

“In His providence, God has used the tough things in my life to draw me closer to Him. To show me His great love, and to teach me many things. I have learned that I am not perfect, and I have the scars to prove it: 13 of them. And they serve as a physical reminder of a spiritual reality that I can never be perfect on my own: I need a Savior. I have learned that the greatest evidence of God’s love is seen when I stand at the foot of the cross. He took my shame upon Himself and rescued me. I have learned that being a Christian is not just hope for the future, although it is most definitely that, but that it is the joy of knowing and trusting in a God who is loving and faithful no matter what the circumstances. So when I say that ‘Death is not Dying’, death will not kill my soul it is eternal just like yours, it is just this physical body that will die, but even it will be raised again, just like Jesus, and it will be better than the one I have now. Like everything, it will be better, because God is going to make everything new. And I know this Why? Because I know God, I know myself, I know the Gospel, and I know my purpose. I know I have a faith that saves, because my faith is in Jesus alone.”
To learn more about Rachel's journey or Watch the event video, visit: [Deathisnotdying.com]
[Click on either link above to watch video]

An Act of Mercy - Victoria Ruvolo

On November 13, 2004, Victoria Ruvolo was returning to her Long Island home at night from her niece’s vocal recital when her life was suddenly changed in the blink of an eye. A group of six teenagers stole a credit card and recklessly decided to go on a joyride as well as a shopping spree. One of the infamous items purchased was a 20 pound frozen turkey of which; one teen [Ryan Cushing] thought it may be amusing to hurl the projectile out of the moving car into oncoming traffic. The turkey smashed through Ruvolo’s windshield, bending the steering wheel before breaking every bone on impact, which nearly killed Victoria and left her unconscious. If her companion in the passenger seat had not been present to pull the car off the road and render aid, it could have easily become a death weapon. 

In her impact statement, Victoria stated: "If I had been alone in the car that night, I would have died. It upsets me that at the cost of my life, not one of the teenagers had the guts or decency to come back or call 911. This haunts me. I wouldn't leave an animal to suffer on the side of the road, let alone my fellow man."

As a result, she suffered severe injuries from a caved in esophagus requiring a tracheotomy (tube to breathe), both cheeks and jaw bone completely shattered, a fractured left eye socket, and partial brain damage. This required several months of reconstructive surgery as well rehabilitation. Approximately one month later, Ruvolo awakened from her medically induced coma with no recollection of the incident. However, family members eventually filled her in with the details of the tragic event. Numerous as well doctors told Ruvolo it was a miracle she was alive.

On Monday August 15, 2005, Victoria met face to face with her assailant in the courtroom for the first time. If indicted on a charge of first-degree assault and other offenses, Mr. Cushing could have faced up to 25 years in prison if convicted. Instead, the Suffolk County district attorney Thomas Spota agreed to a plea bargain only at Ms. Ruvolo’s insistence on a lenient sentence. Ryan Cushing pleaded guilty and served the minimum of six months behind bars, followed by five years of probation, of which included psychological counseling and public service. 

Before Monday’s sentencing, Mr. Cushing handed Ms. Ruvolo an envelope which contained a handwritten four-page apology letter. On his way out of the courtroom, Ryan choked up a verbal apology as he embraced Ms. Ruvolo while crying profusely. Victoria in return held him tightly, stroked his face, and patted his back as he continued to sob with remorse for a few minutes. "It's O.K., its O.K." Ruvolo stated while patting his back and exchanging whispered advice. She then offered him reassuring words as she continued to comfort him…“I forgive you...I just want your life to be the best it can be.” New York Times referred to this event as “A Moment of Grace.” 

"Despite all the fear and the pain, I have learned from this horrific experience, and I have much to be thankful for... Each day when I wake up, I thank God simply because I am alive. I sincerely hope you have also learned from this awful experience, Ryan. There is no room for vengeance in my life, and I do not believe a long, hard prison term would do you, me, or society any good."

Although Ruvolo received a settlement from the civil suit, she continues to work as a manger at a collection agency and also began volunteering with the Suffolk County probation department. Victoria, despite facing rehabilitation, multiple surgeries with titanium bolts and plates securing her fractured skull, and criticism from others choose to forgive her assailant Ryan Cushing. She stated in a recent interview with New York Times: "If I hadn't let go of that anger, I'd be consumed by this need for revenge," said Ruvolo, now 50. "Forgiving him helps me move on."

Would you have responded the way Victoria Ruvolo did to her attacker? On very rare occasions, we encounter people such as this woman who are willing to forgive the trespasses wrongfully done by others. Many times people will say ‘I forgive,’ but their actions clearly show otherwise in their refusal to show mercy in return. [Colossians 3:12-14]

You see, Mercy is compassion in action. Whenever Jesus saw a multitude, encountered individuals or a crowd; He was moved with compassion which called for action. As a result He would administer healing, cast out demons, address or teach people...but most of all, sinless and blameless...He bore ALL of my sins on the cross [past, present, and future] ...a debt you and I could never pay on our own.

Victoria was the victim of a random act of violence [or in other words, a prank gone wrong], which could have easily happened to anyone. However, instead of dwelling on what she had lost, she chose to focus on what she had gained from the incident and find strength from the blessings in her life."God gave me a second chance at life, and I passed it on," she says of her largess toward her assailant."I truly appreciate the preciousness of life," Ruvolo told Good Morning America. "Every day when I wake up, I truly thank God for giving me another day, that I could see the beauty of everything."

If she could forgive Ryan Cushing for what he did, can't we forgive our friends or enemies for much less heinous crimes? Check out [Matthew 18:21-35]