Update: 2016

Lately I feel as if my life has been off track. I have faced calamities back to back that it is almost hard to explain. Due to this, God has been stirring something in my heart to return back to the heart of worship. Today I felt the tug on my heart to return to the way things used to be when I was set on fire for Him. It’s not an easy task. It takes time and effort. When I take an imaginary glimpse into my future, I see myself in my 30’s with children and so in love with Him. I see myself raising my babies up in the Lord to be more like Him. My sons to be mighty men of valor and my daughters’ proverbs 31 women. Being a mother is not an easy task and I’ve learned that simply by watching others around me. I want to be the best mom I can be for my children and to do better than my parents in every way imaginable. My heart aches as I long for more. I feel God drawing me back to Him again and re-establishing me in my gifts and talents. I had to take a brief break from a lot of things for almost a year and a half which set me back again because I thought I knew what was most important to me at the time. Little did I realize that God ultimately knew what I was going through and the fire that I needed to go through for all things to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. What one may view as one of the worst calamities I have gone through thus far was really a set up for greater things to come. My heart lately has been doing backflips inside my chest. I have been longing for and reminiscing on different things such as marriage, memories, and high school friends. Sometimes I wonder how different life and things would have been if ended staying in my old neighborhood in Dallas. One little change and move in faith shifted my life for the better in the right direction. I have great memories simply by going to a different High School. My heart misses student council meetings, homecoming, the few minutes to catch up in-between classes which sometimes resulted in a tardy and last but certainly not least fond memories hanging out with friends. I miss my girls. I can’t say I had any real friends when I used to live in Dallas of which I’m grateful for the abrupt move as I look back because I changed for the better. I made even more real amigos para siempre when I got in the church that my heart has been missing lately. Lastly, tonight I felt something happen in my heart which struck a nerve and made me realize that I am ready for marriage. Due to my own set of personal experiences and upbringing, I have never been in a real relationship. It has kept me, but I saw myself breaking down and crying out to God tonight because I’m ready for the next step in my life. I used to see myself as an individual that plans in advance for everything as it comes to my mind (my purse is an example of that too), but what I could not plan on is being 25 and still single wanting to mingle. It never bothered me that I did not care to be in a relationship for the past 3 years because I was pre-occupied with school, but now I realize that I cannot put things in a chronological order such as 1. Graduate college 2. Get married and 3. Have children. My dream orders of operations may shift because I have been in college for 8 years and counting. I may end up 1. Getting married, 2. Having children, and then 3. Graduating college at this point. Life does not always work out as we plan it. The Lord’s ways are above our ways and His thoughts above our thoughts. His word says: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” We can always pray toward dreams, goals, and desires…but ultimately we need to put our trust in Him and know that our Heavenly Father always knows what is best.

P4CM | Passion 4 Christ Movement (Spoken Word)

I was recently watching spoken word artists on YouTube and these are a few of my favorites thus far by Janette McGhee also known as MissTerious Janette...ikz (pronounced mysterious genetics.) Despite overcoming adversity growing up, she has been a performing artist in the areas of poetry, dance, and music for over 18 years! I hope the videos below are an encouragement to all who stumble across it. Enjoy! :)

For more information about the Passion 4 Christ Movement, visit P4CM.com

Disclaimer: The original recording can be found at the following links:  [ Ready or Not by RHETORIC Poets Ezekiel & Janette ]  [ I Will Wait For You ] and [ 31 Status ]

Train Up A Child In The Way He Should Go...

I have no clue how I came across this video today, but I'm glad I did! It touched me to see someone so young on fire for God and being used mightily for His glory! Jekalyn Carr (no relation to Kurt Carr) is a 15 year old traveling Evangelist who knew the call of God on her life from a young age and answered it. This is the result of two parents who recognized the call on their child's life and with God's guidance, knew how to "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." [Proverbs 22:6] It is important for parents to be forerunners- not only for their kids, but the generations to come. I just wanted to take the time to encourage the younger generations to "press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." [Philippians 3:14] The Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy: "Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity." [1 Tim. 4:12] This young woman is an example to all; you are never too young to be used by God when you live a consecrated life unto Him.

Isaiah Jackson- another child God is raising up for such a time as this! 

"Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants
You have ordained strength, 
Because of Your enemies,
That You may silence the enemy and the avenger." [Psalms 8:2]

Disclaimer: The original recordings can be found at the following links: [Jekalyn Carr Sings Alpha & Omega]  and  [You Won't See the Wind or the Rain]

Developing an Attitude of Gratitude

My spirit was lifted this morning after listening to this song by Indiana Bible College titled: La Buena Vida- I just had to share. :)  Check out the video below or click here.

 

I know I have been M.I.A lately; I've been wrapped up with school and Bible College full-time, 27 hours is no joke! However, all of this has caused me to lean on the everlasting arms of God and depend on Him for strength! A lot has happened since my last update. For starters, I came back from a life changing trip this weekend in Pine Prairie, Louisiana. I met a lot of amazing, hospitable individuals- of which, some helped guide and teach me some things about myself. Going on this trip helped me to see others through the eyes of God. Due to all the spiritual dark things that occur in that part of Louisiana, the church is in constant battle and prepared through spiritual warfare prayer and I could feel it the when I came into the church. The first night of the trip, we broke loose in POWER-packed prayer that filled the sanctuary! It was truly liberating to be in an atmosphere like that. It's time for God's people to press in prayer and in the word like never before!!!

I'm excited about all the things God is doing in my life right now. In this season I'm in- I've learned to be content in all things and worship God from a heart of thanksgiving and press in prayer on a deeper level- the type of prayer that will shake a jail cell. There is POWER that comes when your in that intimate place of prayer or intercession, being word fed, spirit led, and having a heart of gratitude as you worship the living God. Jesus is drawing me into that place of intimacy where it's just me and Him with no distractions---and my spirit has been content because of it. This is a season where I've learned to be content while single and would not have it any other way! I have time to do more things for God and myself-The Apostle Paul wasn't lying!;-) For some individuals, it takes longer to realize the importance of understanding their identity in Christ, to learn to put Him first, and being content while doing so. When you understand your identity is in Christ and who you are in Him, it doesn't matter what other people say or think about you. Once you do, He will begin to trust you with more, open doors, and elevate you into a deep place of intimacy with Him.

I've been talking to one of my close friends about the things I want to do next semester, not only to take me even deeper spiritually, but for myself as well- to enjoy the little things in life. For starters, I want to attend more prayer meetings weekly where I feel the liberty to break loose and not worry about being too loud. There are several things that I am passionate about- dreams and visions God has placed in my heart, but I have allowed myself to get so busy that some of them have gone unfulfilled. I got excited today thinking of the goals I am setting for myself next semester as I take another well needed rest. As I have mentioned in previous posts, there are talents that I was once passionate about and as I take time off to grow spiritually and focus even more on God and ministry- I will have more time to develop these. One good thing that has come from taking 27 hours this semester is that I had to learn not to procrastinate, but to prioritize and get ahead as much as possible just to find a little spare time to relax or even sleep. Some things I haven't done in a while include: pleasure reading, working out, cooking, art, decorating, studying/interpreting other languages, and waking up before 7 A.M.  :-) If you don't make time to rest, it can have a toll on you emotionally, spiritually, and physically when there is no balance.

You're never too young to live for God or fulfill some of the promises He has in store for your life at a young age. Timothy, David, Jeremiah, and Samuel were all young, but God still used them in mighty ways. Continue persevering and enduring the trials that are sent into your life to refine and purify you as gold while manifesting the fruit of the spirit and wisdom necessary to be used in that way. God is looking for individuals who are ready to say "Here I am Lord, use me for your glory." Until we get in that "sold out" for Christ mindset and stop allowing things to hinder us (distractions) from reaching our full potential, we will never reach our destination where God wants us to be spiritually in order to fulfill our calling to the fullest! 

Amazing things will begin to flow and manifest around and through you when you learn to flow in the spirit of Christ which dwells in you. You need to get full and running over through prayer, praise- worshiping God in spirit and in truth, and walking in the love of Christ. When you get full and running over with the spirit of Christ, He will fill your heart with an overwhelming amount of joy, peace, and the love of God through the Holy Ghost that you can't help but to be filled with the same amount of gratitude. Ezekiel understood this when he talked about water flowing from the temple. He said that at first he was ankle deep, then knee deep, waist deep until it was deep enough to swim in- a river that could not be passed through. It is important to learn how to tap into that life-source the Holy Spirit brings at any given time when you get in that deep place of intimacy with God and are prepared to minister in season and out of season. The same resurrection power that raised Christ from the dead is the same power that lies within you when you are filled with the Holy Spirit.

It's so easy for us to have the greener grass syndrome when we look at someone Else's life and think that they have it easier. I read a quote yesterday by Regina Brett which said: "If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone Else's, we'd grab ours back!" Perspective is Key- you can look at other individuals in ministry and say "I want what they have," but are you willing to pay the price or make the sacrifices necessary in order to be used in a similar manner. To sum up it all up: I'm reminded of the Apostle Paul- he was shipwrecked three times, bitten by a poisonous snake, left for dead -yet this man still knew how to give thanks in all things and count it all joy if he suffered for the name of Christ. He had an attitude of gratitude!

My Photoshoot with Grace Nguyen

Recently, one of my friends- Grace Nguyen, asked me to do a photo-shoot for a class she is currently taking---and of course, I'll never turn down a F-R-E-E photo op so I agreed! ;-) She is an upcoming artist currently majoring at one of the nations largest art programs at a public institution. Below is a sample of a few pictures she took of me with minimal to no editing done to re-touch the photo.

  

Got Talents?

Lately, I've been thinking of some of the things I used to do that I gave up on. Well, I want to start getting back to pursuing those desires and goals I once set my heart out to accomplish. It has been on my heart lately to start doing somethings for myself such as taking on certain hobbies once again since I tend to be people oriented and like going out of my way to serve, give, and help others sacrificially-something that I learned from my parents. 

I started learning sign language in the 4th grade, but quit shortly afterwards. I began learning music and the basics around the same time, but stopped by the 7th grade as it no longer became a requirement. (And this is where I start to kick myself in the back of the head). I began learning Spanish for 8 years from the age of 7 and became pretty fluent in speaking, but I went cold turkey after 10th grade because I grew weary of it. I thought that I would eventually pick back up on it shortly, but I never did. It has always been a passion of mine to learn to play the piano from a young age, and it still is...but I could never afford the lessons, so I just know the basics. I have been gifted artistically from a young age as well as many people who are in my family, but I stopped designing and drawing when I hit a few bumps in the road.

Well, why am I writing all of this you may ask? Anyone that knows me would know that I have a tendency to procrastinate a little bit. However, this is something I feel God has broken off of me this year as I have had to balance taking 27 hours worth of classes this semester. Recently, as I was talking with a friend in her car, the topic of using my talents came up. A talent is a natural God given gift or ability. After talking with her about this, it got me thinking about the gifts God has given me of which I now realize some lie in my God given desires. There was a talent I had that others have told me about, but I never considered it to be a talent. I want to start honoring the Lord and my parents by pursuing those things that He has laid upon my heart to do and strengthening those gifts both spiritually and my talents by using them more for His glory! I'm a small girl, in a big world filled with BIG dreams! I know my God is going to take me places...

This is just a short list of some things that have been on my heart lately to start doing again or begin learning:

1) Learn sign language

2) Start playing the piano

3) Get back into appreciating the arts: Music, Theatre, and Dancing for God

4) Re-learn Spanish and maybe another language

"Learning to Breathe Again"- Tammy Trent