My First Love

I felt it impressed upon my heart recently that God wanted me to share parts of my testimony…when and where that will be, I have no clue. Recently, the Lord put it on my heart to start reaching out more to the young girls around me and to be a positive role model. As I have been pressing in deeper prayer, He has been dealing with me about some things. Recently, what He laid on my heart is regarding relationships. 

The topic that was preached on Sunday night was about “God Alone.” For those of you that are not familiar with the story of Abraham and Isaac, refer to Genesis 15-17. As the years went by and Abram grew older, he became impatient on waiting on the Lord and decided to take the situation into his own hands by listening to his wife Sarai to conceive a child through her maidservant Hagar. Years later, the Lord finally brought His word to pass and gave Abraham and Sarah a child at the ripened age of 100 and 90. Isaac was the promise child which God was going to make Abram’s descendants as numerous as the stars. Some thoughts Abraham may have been faced with as he was climbing the mountain on his way to sacrifice his son is: “Do I love Isaac more than I love God?” God will sometimes ask us to sacrifice that which is most precious or close our heart, mainly to test and reveal to us where our desires truly lie because He already knows. The reoccurring theme I have been hearing all summer is about standing on the promises of God, faith, values, and sacrifice. As Pastor Hargrove often likes to say: “Our values determine our desires, our desires set our priorities, our priorities determine our direction, and our direction determines our DESTINY!”

When I first came to the Lord and He changed my heart and desires, I laid down several things at the altar by my bedside in return for a greater desire of how I want to be used by Him. Nothing could compare to the honeymoon phase I was in with the Lord for those 6 months to 1 year...it felt like I was on cloud 9! I could not get enough of His word because it was life to my spirit. I would literally skip breakfast and sometimes lunch just to meditate in His word and listen to various preachers because I was so hungry for more of God. I remember feeling His presence SO strong in my bedroom on more than one occasion because I had been seeking His face a lot, that it felt like I was going to die. Before that I had never really encountered the presence of God.

Two of my greatest desires: Marriage and Motherhood I surrendered to Him early on. Several months later, the devil started using that against me by feeding me a lot of lies of which I started to believe overtime. Eventually, the Lord set me straight and revealed His will to me, but the whole process itself of holding unto that desire and almost not wanting to give it up showed me where my heart was. There is nothing wrong with having certain desires because God places it  in our heart and answers them according to His will and timing. Besides it being written in the word, the Lord showed me that He is a jealous God and will do almost anything to gain our attention. When God puts a burden in you to serve Him wholeheartedly, you must be willing to lay down your very life if it ever came to that. Rekindling the flame you once had is the hardest thing to do after the fire you have for God dwindles down, that is why we have to always hunger and thirst after Him. If you want to go deeper in God, you need to have a burning hunger and desire in your heart more than anything else in this world.

When I was 18, I thought I was ready to take on the world. When I finally came to the realization that we are living in the end times, I felt an urgency to get certain things accomplished within a specific time frame. I was ready to get married (so I thought) and to move out and on with my life. I had picked up the mentality along the way that life doesn't really begin until you get married. However, what I failed to realize was that life truly does not begin until you are living for God filled with His spirit!

I can gladly say I have not been in any kind of relationship for almost 5 years now, and that is truly God’s doing. For starters, He had to heal my broken heart and make me whole again; on top of that it would have been a distraction for me in the beginning when I came to Him. I’m finally in a place where I can sincerely say I am enjoying my season of singleness and the friendships God is bringing into my life. We must first learn to be content with what He has entrusted us with before He will give us more. If you are not content while being single, most likely you are going to be a discontent married person. A relationship status change will not make the difference when it comes to issues that are already in our heart that need to be resolved. We must first gain fulfillment in Him and through Him. I am more concerned now about getting back on fire for God, pursuing the ministry I’m called into, growing my gifts, talents, and reaching the lost all around me.

Never settle for less than God’s best in anything! It’s so easy to compromise some of your values or standards when you're with someone you like, especially for a long period of time. Set high standards for yourself, but don't set it so high that Jesus himself can't meet them (nobody’s good enough for me syndrome). One thing I can testify through personal experience is that the way a guy treats and speaks to his mother is EXACTLY how you can expect him to treat you in the long run. Wait for a guy who is willing to lay down his life for you, a guy who is a gentleman and respects you as well as himself by setting boundaries. Wait for a man who is on fire for God, puts Him first in all things, zealous for the work of the Lord, and obedient to His voice. Remember you are a daughter of the most high King, so wait for a guy who will treat you like royalty…and you do the same for him!

Focus on God...drawing near to Him and He will make your path straight and open doors in your life. Everything that is supposed to be yours will come in due time that is in alignment with God’s will for your life when you live life according to His word, standards, and with an open hand policy. In regards to relationships, the closer two individuals move toward God in their relationship, the more they will put on the characteristics of His nature and move closer to one another as well. We can try to get ahead of God and take situations into our own hands like Abraham and his wife, or we can wait on God and gain strength and patience in the process.

His Saving Grace

God allowed me to cross paths with this beautiful, strong woman by the name of Taylor Mitchell on February 13, 2009...five months before I had a dynamic encounter with the Lord! Overtime, I heard parts of her powerful testimony which has moved my heart and even encouraged me of the various backgrounds that the Lord brings us from. I am truly inspired by this amazing woman's story of God's redemption! She is living proof of God's love as she demonstrates that same love to others that He has shown her. I know the Lord is using her testimony to draw people unto Him and set them free! Check out the links below.

More details about her testimony can be found on Micah's page below...
http://www.myspace.com/micahdademitchell

Got Talents?

Lately, I've been thinking of some of the things I used to do that I gave up on. Well, I want to start getting back to pursuing those desires and goals I once set my heart out to accomplish. It has been on my heart lately to start doing somethings for myself such as taking on certain hobbies once again since I tend to be people oriented and like going out of my way to serve, give, and help others sacrificially-something that I learned from my parents. 

I started learning sign language in the 4th grade, but quit shortly afterwards. I began learning music and the basics around the same time, but stopped by the 7th grade as it no longer became a requirement. (And this is where I start to kick myself in the back of the head). I began learning Spanish for 8 years from the age of 7 and became pretty fluent in speaking, but I went cold turkey after 10th grade because I grew weary of it. I thought that I would eventually pick back up on it shortly, but I never did. It has always been a passion of mine to learn to play the piano from a young age, and it still is...but I could never afford the lessons, so I just know the basics. I have been gifted artistically from a young age as well as many people who are in my family, but I stopped designing and drawing when I hit a few bumps in the road.

Well, why am I writing all of this you may ask? Anyone that knows me would know that I have a tendency to procrastinate a little bit. However, this is something I feel God has broken off of me this year as I have had to balance taking 27 hours worth of classes this semester. Recently, as I was talking with a friend in her car, the topic of using my talents came up. A talent is a natural God given gift or ability. After talking with her about this, it got me thinking about the gifts God has given me of which I now realize some lie in my God given desires. There was a talent I had that others have told me about, but I never considered it to be a talent. I want to start honoring the Lord and my parents by pursuing those things that He has laid upon my heart to do and strengthening those gifts both spiritually and my talents by using them more for His glory! I'm a small girl, in a big world filled with BIG dreams! I know my God is going to take me places...

This is just a short list of some things that have been on my heart lately to start doing again or begin learning:

1) Learn sign language

2) Start playing the piano

3) Get back into appreciating the arts: Music, Theatre, and Dancing for God

4) Re-learn Spanish and maybe another language

From the Heart...

I'm sitting here, staring at a blank screen reflecting upon my life...at some of the decisions I've made, the path I've chosen to pave, and mistakes I have made along the way. Some of the choices I've made has left scares that only began to heal when I ran into the arms of a loving Heavenly Father, my Abba Father! Allowing scars to heal from past brokenness is not easy and for those who have never been brokenhearted before the struggle may be hard to understand. I have learned healing is a process that takes time of which that time lies in God's hands as the psalmist David wrote. In the process of being healed sometimes you may hurt people that care about you unintentionally . It's easy for people to turn to things that will bring a temporary "quick fix" in their life instead of allowing God to mend their broken heart. A broken and contrite spirit is one He will not despise because in His word it says: "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." God is still in the healing business, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" and that is what He did for me!


As I look back at my life and reflect upon certain incidents I can recall having several "smh" [shake my head] moments when I wish I made wiser decisions. This is one of those moments for me. Lately I've been going through some fiery trials that have slowly grown and shaped me into the woman I am becoming. Instead of becoming angry and questioning God for some of the things I've had to endure, all I can do is simply raise my two hands and begin worshiping Him for who He truly is because it is not about me, but ALL about Him---that is part of dying to self. A true christian is never exempt from suffering. In fact, [Romans 5:3-4] states we should "rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope."


Saints of God, all this suffering we will have to endure here on earth does not compare to the future glory we will receive! How else are we expected to grow in our faith and become more like Him in our character unless we suffer for His name sake and persevere through the trial? That is when the genuineness of our faith will prove true of which; it is impossible to please God without faith. Look at Job! I thank God for choosing an ordinary man like Paul who used to persecute Christians to write one-third of the new testament. He was no stranger to suffering or brokenness! Some people may look at the calamity in the world and question if there is a God, why He would allow some of the disasters going on in the world. Well I'm here to tell you there IS a God and ALL of us like sheep have gone astray from our shepherd. If your called to do mighty works for the Lord to glorify and lift His name on high, there is a major price to pay. Not many are willing to persevere and pay the price though. That is partially why many are called but few are chosen. 


The bible says in [Ephesians 6:12] "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." I have come to understand the reality of this piece of scripture. That is why He goes on further to instruct us in proceeding verses to put on the whole armor of God: the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the gospel of peace as our shoes, your shield of faith, a helmet of salvation and the mighty sword of the spirit which is the word of God. There is an unseen war going on in the spiritual realm in these end times, that is why it is important to be steadfast in the word of God because those who know their God will do exploits and instruct many. (If you do not believe we are in the end times, I encourage you to listen to Irvin Baxter on youtube.) God has brought me a long way and is in the process of making me whole, but there are more miles to go in this long journey that lies ahead. I've heard the expression, "When I'm down to nothing, God is up to something!" It's true! In the midst of confusion brought on by the enemy, I have learned the importance of worship, not being ashamed to stand up for His name...and trusting in God at all times to guide, protect, and deliver me from the schemes of the enemy. No one said this journey would be easy, but it it worth the cost! :)

Identification Crisis

Upon looking at the image of a social security card one day, it sparked the thought for me to reflect upon my identity. Who am I? When this question was presented to me once, I found myself confused trying to provide an answer. That was because I did not know who my God was. In this world we have several forms of Identification from drivers licenses, social security cards, green cards and passports. These mere forms of Identification one can carry in his or her pocket may provide recognition while traveling, but do not define who we are. Often times individuals will let others define who they are without considering their biblical role and standing on God's word when it comes to their identity. I struggled with finding my identity for a while...seventeen years to be exact. That was before I found Christ and He begun to do a mighty work in me. For seventeen years I let the world and the labels of others define who I am instead of looking to the almighty God who turned this clay into a creation. Instead of looking through the eyes of man to figure out who you are, look to God."Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold the new has come."  [2 Corinthians 5:17] Since I became a new creature in Christ, I had to redefine who I am because now I took on His name (Jesus) through baptism the way a bride takes on the name of her bridegroom when she gets married. Taking on His name has caused a complete 180 degree turn in my life for the better. It has changed the way I perceive things, communicate with others, who I associate with, and even how I dress. I thank God I now know who I am because my identity lies in Him!

I was asked this question on December 19, 2009 and while diligently searching...it was answered on June 17, 2010 not too long after I experienced the baptism of the Holy Ghost with evidence of speaking in tongues. 

I am a child of God
I am the daughter of the most High King
I am a future wife
I am a future mother
I am valuable
I am qualified
I am a friend of God
I am more than a conquer through Christ
I am a writer
I am compassionate
I am a leader
I am set apart
I am the head and not the tail
I am a royal priesthood
I am bought with a price
I am forgiven

God's Message to Women - Author Unkown

As I was reading the book "Desired by the King" by Ruth Rieder, I came across this lovely poem today and thought I should share. It is important that more women start to stand up and know their biblical role. Enjoy!

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being.When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently fashion you. Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. 

From one bone I fashioned you, and I choose the bone that protects man's life. I choose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him as you are meant to do. Around this one bone, I shaped and molded you.

I created you perfectly and beautifully. Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to his heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body. You were not taken from his feet to be under him, nor were you taken from his head to be above him. You were taken from his side to be held close as you stand beside him.

I have caressed your face in your deepest sleep. I have held your heart close to Mine. Adam walked with Me in the cool of the day and yet he was lonely. He could not see or touch Me but could only feel My presence. So I fashioned in you everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with Me; My holiness, My strength, My purity, My love, My protection and support.

You are special because you are an extension of Me. Man represents My image- woman My emotions. Together, you represent the totality of God. 

So man, treat woman well. Love and respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt Me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart. Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have placed within you. In gentle quietness show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.