I felt it impressed upon my
heart recently that God wanted me to share parts of my testimony…when and where that
will be, I have no clue. Recently, the Lord put it on my heart to start
reaching out more to the young girls around me and to be a positive role model.
As I have been pressing in deeper prayer, He has been dealing with me about
some things. Recently, what He laid on my heart is regarding relationships.
The topic that was preached
on Sunday night was about “God Alone.” For those of you that are not familiar
with the story of Abraham and Isaac, refer to Genesis 15-17. As the years went
by and Abram grew older, he became impatient on waiting on the Lord and decided
to take the situation into his own hands by listening to his wife Sarai to
conceive a child through her maidservant Hagar. Years later, the Lord finally brought
His word to pass and gave Abraham and Sarah a child at the ripened age of 100
and 90. Isaac was the promise child which God was going to make Abram’s descendants
as numerous as the stars. Some thoughts Abraham may have been faced with as he
was climbing the mountain on his way to sacrifice his son is: “Do I love Isaac
more than I love God?” God will sometimes ask us to sacrifice that which is
most precious or close our heart, mainly to test and reveal to us where our
desires truly lie because He already knows. The reoccurring theme I have been hearing all summer is about standing on the promises of God, faith, values, and sacrifice. As Pastor Hargrove often likes to
say: “Our values determine our desires, our desires set our priorities, our
priorities determine our direction, and our direction determines our DESTINY!”
When I first came to the
Lord and He changed my heart and desires, I laid down several things at the
altar by my bedside in return for a greater desire of how I want to be used by
Him. Nothing could compare to the honeymoon phase I was in with the Lord for
those 6 months to 1 year...it felt like I was on cloud 9! I could not get
enough of His word because it was life to my spirit. I would literally skip
breakfast and sometimes lunch just to meditate in His word and listen to
various preachers because I was so hungry for more of God. I remember feeling
His presence SO strong in my bedroom on more than one occasion because I had
been seeking His face a lot, that it felt like I was going to die. Before that
I had never really encountered the presence of God.
Two of my greatest desires:
Marriage and Motherhood I surrendered to Him early on. Several months later,
the devil started using that against me by feeding me a lot of lies of which I
started to believe overtime. Eventually, the Lord set me straight and revealed His
will to me, but the whole process itself of holding unto that desire and almost
not wanting to give it up showed me where my heart was. There is nothing wrong
with having certain desires because God places it in our heart and
answers them according to His will and timing. Besides it being written in the word, the
Lord showed me that He is a jealous God and will do almost anything to gain our
attention. When God puts a burden in you to serve Him wholeheartedly, you must
be willing to lay down your very life if it ever came to that. Rekindling the
flame you once had is the hardest thing to do after the fire you have for God
dwindles down, that is why we have to always hunger and thirst after Him. If you
want to go deeper in God, you need to have a burning hunger and desire in your
heart more than anything else in this world.
When I was 18, I thought I
was ready to take on the world. When I finally came to the realization that we
are living in the end times, I felt an urgency to get certain things
accomplished within a specific time frame. I was ready to get married (so I
thought) and to move out and on with my life. I had picked up the mentality
along the way that life doesn't really begin until you get married. However,
what I failed to realize was that life truly does not begin until you are living for God filled with His spirit!
I can gladly say I have not
been in any kind of relationship for almost 5 years now, and that is truly
God’s doing. For starters, He had to heal my broken heart and make me whole again;
on top of that it would have been a distraction for me in the beginning when I came to Him. I’m
finally in a place where I can sincerely say I am enjoying my season of
singleness and the friendships God is bringing into my life. We must first
learn to be content with what He has entrusted us with before He will give us
more. If you are not content while being single, most likely you are going to
be a discontent married person. A relationship status change will not make the
difference when it comes to issues that are already in our heart that need to
be resolved. We must first gain fulfillment in
Him and through Him. I am more
concerned now about getting back on fire for God, pursuing the ministry I’m
called into, growing my gifts, talents, and reaching the lost all around me.
Never settle for less than
God’s best in anything! It’s so easy to compromise some of your values or
standards when you're with someone you like, especially for a long period of
time. Set high standards for yourself, but don't set it so high that Jesus himself can't meet them (nobody’s good enough for me syndrome). One thing I can testify
through personal experience is that the way a guy treats and speaks to his
mother is EXACTLY how you can expect him to treat you in the long run. Wait for a guy who is
willing to lay down his life for you, a guy who is a gentleman and respects you as well as himself
by setting boundaries. Wait for a man who is on fire for God,
puts Him first in all things, zealous for the work of the Lord, and obedient to
His voice. Remember you are a daughter of the most high King, so wait for a guy
who will treat you like royalty…and you do the same for him!
Focus on God...drawing near
to Him and He will make your path straight and open doors in your life.
Everything that is supposed to be yours will come in due time that is in
alignment with God’s will for your life when you live life according to His
word, standards, and with an open hand policy. In regards to relationships, the
closer two individuals move toward God in their relationship, the more they
will put on the characteristics of His nature and move closer to one another as
well. We can try to get ahead of God and take situations into our own hands
like Abraham and his wife, or we can wait on God and gain strength and patience
in the process.
